I'm so done.

I'm working as a receptionist at a hotel. I joined here just few days back. Due to anxiety I was not working from past few years, but I thought how long will I hide myself, atleast slowly I sld try to overcome it.

But Noone even talks with me here, coz of anxiety I'm always quite and nervous but they think I've attitude. Even they're so rude with me, they always try there best to dominate me, specially that girl ...

It scares me so much even thinking of going to work now, I haven't quit yet but still I don't how long I can face them.

In front of them I act like I'm strong, I really don't care about their behaviour toward me, but deep inside I'm all broken.

My anxiety is getting worse, I just want to stay hidden in my home.

I wish I could survive this job .

[Marysblue]

I had that experience because I'm quiet and shy and introverted and people think I'm stuck up or think I'm better than them.I found it better if I try to talk to them even if it's just a little. People don't think you're friendly if you don't talk to them. Most people are nervous on a new job so I don't think anyone would think anything about that if you told that.

[SayNOtoPanic]

hang in there. New jobs can be hard in general. Don’t be too tough on yourself. Just be you and smile and do ur work and take ur time. You’ll get to know colleagues and hopefully find some that are nice and it’ll get more comfortable. Good vibes to you.

[Hidden in reply to SayNOtoPanic]

Thank you ❤️

[OtOFrance]

Hello Hidden I hope you are fine today ?

When I read your message, I am sure you have to answer in yourself, just you do not read it.

You say "In front of them I act like I'm strong, I really don't care about their behaviour toward me, but deep inside I'm all broken".

In other words, you wear a mask to make them think you are someone else and conform to what you think they expect you to be.

Why not try to be yourself, explain the around a cup of coffee how you feel and where you come from ? Very often, discussion solves most issues and stressing situtations.

You are a human, with as many fragilities as any other human. Act as such !

And keep us all posted, off course !

Much love from France

O

[Tealpillow in reply to OtOFrance]

That quote stuck out to me a well. When I was hospitalized one of the other patients said that I put on a mask to fit in. It’s so true! But I don’t know any other way to socialize and be friendly. I don’t think the world wants to see my grumpy face 24/7!

LonelySoul I wonder how your coworkers would react if you did what OtOFrance suggested and let them know you have social anxiety, open up that dialogue. If they understand you better then maybe they will treat you better.

Hang in there, thanks for sharing and I hope things ease soon.

[Hidden in reply to Tealpillow]

Hey Tealpillow,I've tried that, Many times I've told my friends and colleagues about my Anxiety issues, it's so disgusting that they all take it in a joke and says lol you look fine, don't try to get sympathy n many more. All those words really hurts,

I think they're not educate what anxiety is and how difficult it can be with times.

So I prefer to keep all my things within myself. I've never got a best friend yet with whom I can openly share anything without any judgement.

So I've to put on the mask and act to be strong.

[Tealpillow in reply to Hidden]

I’m so sorry they reacted that way. I’m assuming they are young and probably don’t have the life experience to be empathetic? I wonder if you are the first person who’s open about anxiety around them - they probably don’t realize how to respond to anxious people. I don’t mean to defend them …. just thinking out loud.

When I’m in situations like this (which I’ve been in many times) I shut down completely. Only talk when spoken to, keep my head down, and work. It feels isolating but also protective.

Sending you support and hugs 🫂

[Hidden in reply to Tealpillow]

Yes there's a saying people will never truly understand something until it happens to them, maybe so all they behave so.I just keep everything with myself and focus on work, I feel safe like this.

[Blue_81 in reply to Hidden]

I dont think we will ever be understood. I tried to share my battles with other and they always down play everything. Others always tell to just change my thinking which is true if I didnt had to deal with anxiety. I always get brush off or people easily loose interest on what im trying to communicate. Then there comes the masks that I wear to feel protected and able to interact with others. Thats good you are trying to get back to work. Getting out there and trying to get better. Best wishes to you.

[Hidden in reply to Blue_81]

Hey Blue_81 You're so right, I also don't think that people ever gonna understand about anxiety issues. Even one of my friend told me you look totally fine. I wish he could educate him that mental health issues are not always crying down, poor health or hygiene, it can be sometimes getting up and going to work but still getting scared and panic attacks. They think that we're making excuses and all. They'll never understand how worst an anxiety can be. Even a normal and daily activities can be felt exhausted.

[Blue_81 in reply to Hidden]

Yes, even normal daily activities can be very exhausting. I just have have enough energy to complete my work day. There are times that I dont even want to go to work but I drag myself to go. Its not that I dont want to work but i feel so anxious im barely able to work and function properly. I like walking which makes my anxiety manageable.

[Hidden in reply to OtOFrance]

Hi OtOFrance, I'm doing better, How are you?

I'm really scared to show my weak side now, it's not that I haven't share about it with anyone, I've tried many times to open up about my anxiety issues with my near ones but always ended up disappointed. They don't even take it seriously.

2 years back at my work place I share a bit about my anxiety with one of my colleague, she was so good with me so I thought I can share something to her but damn after few days I got to know she have told few of colleagues about me and later literally more than half of my colleagues knew about me. I felt so embraced, it really hurt me bad. And after few days I left working there.

I feel it's better I keep all my problems with myself.

I wish they could know what I suffer through. But it's fine.

Maybe someday someone will understand it and support me to get over this.

[Atthepark]

I had really really bad anxiety for years but now it's not as bad I can contribute it to a few things and I'll share w u1. When I started my job 10 years ago I would call my mom and tell her I'm freaking out she finally told me to quit my job she's on disability for her back. But my dad he didn't know how bad my anxiety was I never told him bc he would shoot me down and told me don't ever say the word anxiety again. For years I struggled w my anxiety w the same job some people would tell me once I got to know them they could tell I had anxiety . I put up w alot of racism and adversity and very negative coworker and on my drive home I'd be freaking out and cry ING feeling like a bad person bc this coworker was so negative her feelings affected me after 10 years and getting custody of my now grown son I've learned alot and got thicker skin. Thays just a saying. Now I'm a hard ass at work same type of work for over 10 years but also they have put me on a medicine that helped w panick attacks I would go hide in the closet and cry and call the suicidal line to talk to someone sometimes one time I had apanick attack on the way to work I was half hour late bc my body locked up while I was driving had to pull over and take anxiety medicine when I got to work my coworker who I thought was my friend I told her I was having a panick attack and going to be late she didn't talk to me or ask how I'm feeling. I just have a I don't care attitude at work I seen so many people come n go and I guess I should be proud of myself for one of the one that stayed

[Hidden in reply to Atthepark]

Hey Atthepark,You're really so brave, you really had went through alot.

Even my coworker are so weird, I've here noone to talk with, I feel so alone.

As a receptionist I've to deal with customers that really so tuff for me, I just blanked out few times, I forget things n rather than understanding my situation my coworker treat me so bad. Even for lunch break noone calls me, I eat my lunch alone, and they all are in group. I always feel like I'm an odd.

Small thing hurts me, everything that I go through allthe day I overthink at night, and it really makes me feel so tired.

I try my best always to be strong and face them, but sometime I just lose hope.

[Gussford]

Hi

I am male and much older than you. I have never suffered from anxiety until recently when health worries and deaths in my family overwhelmed me.

Last year I was so anxious and depressed that I had retreated to my bedroom and saw no reason to come out.

After realising I need help, which was the hardest part to admit. I went to my doctor who put me on some anti depression drugs and went for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

This helped me to get out of the constant negative thought pattern that I was in. I was constantly catastrophising thinking I was about to have a stroke, heart attack or had cancer. None of these were true. But I realise that even if I had any of those things I still had to get on with living and not spend the remainder of my life in my room.

Anxiety makes our imagination run away with us, always thinking the worst in every situation. CBT helped me change my way of thinking to a more positive outlook.

If you can't afford a Councillor read some books on it. I found the 'Anxiety Sisters' helpful.

As for your work situation my experience has shown me that there are many more good people out there than bad. Your anxiety my be making you think the worst when it's actually not true. Sometimes we put barriers up to protect ourselves which my come across as rude to others. Don't be afraid to reach out and be friendly. Tell your boss your anxious and need mentoring for a little while. If they don't help then you'll know time to look for something else but at least you will have tried.

You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Don't let anxiety rule your life.

Good luck.

[Hidden in reply to Gussford]

Hi Gussford.You're really very strong that you are healing from your situation. You really went through hard times, loss of family member is not easy to deal with. Hope you will do better.

Anxiety make us think everything in a negative way. Even though I know all this, still I can't think positive. Seems like life is getting darker day by day.

I'm really losing hope. I want to fix things but feels like nthg is on my hand.

I even tried making friends but I think noone wants to be my friend, so I'm better alone.

I've noone to talk with, I always want to share my feelings so I joined Health unlocked. I feel good here after writing down my thoughts. I don't know will I ever come over this but still I'll try to do much better day by day.

[Gussford in reply to Hidden]

Keep trying. These situations are only temporary. You WILL meet nice people and make friends. One day you'll look back on this and wonder what was that about?Stay positive and good luck. 👍

[Hidden in reply to Gussford]

I hope so ❤️