Hello everyone,
It's been a while since I posted on here. I’d like to say that I’ve been doing better since I haven't had suicidal ideation for years. The past year, I been easily angry. I been seeing a therapist finally! I had my anger under control lately except today. Today, I did laundry with my bf and he mixed the clothes in the wash which pissed me off. I tried not to and raised my voice at him. He stepped out and sat in the car. Later, we started talking about it. I explained that it made me angry because I spent time sorting the clothes because I had a lot. Hours later, we are at home. I start cleaning (Vaccuming, dusting the fans, etc) the bedroom. I reminded him about the candle stain he left from yesterday. He tried to use a clean towel to clean. I told him there is a scrubber for the floor to use. That pisses him off. I goes to the living room to put the towels away in the bathroom. He gets the 40lbs of jasmine rice and spilled it everywhere. I don't say anything. He yells at me to help him. I grabbed a big bag, he says its too big to use the smaller( a little recycled grocery bag). Mind you the tear 40lb rice wouldn't fit in it. I raised the big bag to him. He just keeps yelling. I asked if he wants my help it not. He yelling even louder for neighbors to hear. I grabbed the bag of rice and put it in the big bag. I called him childish. He tells me to clean it up myself and continues to yell then I went to the bedroom and closed the door behind me. He leaves slamming the door while yelling outside. He left his phone. I feel like I really screwed up. Is this it for us? I just want to throw everything away or maybe I need a smoke....
xx
Long post but I need to vent
Do I stay?
I used to hide in my closet
Crying and Angry
I can’t get moving!!
