I am going to have to have surgery. My knee jerk reaction is to complete the remodel of the front bedroom. I don't want my family to have to deal with incomplete projects in my house if I don't make it. I usually can do the work but I have my dominate arm in a brace.
I found a local handyman to do the work. We agreed on $25.00 hr, he worked really fast the first day. Day two he asks for more money ( red flag), I didn't answer him I decided to wait and see . He came to work and worked very slowly, day three no show- I messaged him and he gave a lame excuse. During the time he was here it freaked me out my mind went crazy thinking the worst. I spent the time in my bedroom in the back of the house. He came back to ask a question and I bolted to get him to the front of the house. My brain was screaming "MY SPACE, MY SAFE SPOT, GET OUT, GET OUT!" At the end of each day I pay him for the day. Last night I asked him how long he thinks it will take = money. He said a lot of things, so I just kept asking, finally he said 4 more days.
My brother and I talked via FaceTime, I showed him the room. He said he will come down and do it in a day. I am so relieved, my anxiety was through the roof. I used to have people come over and it wasn't an issue but now I freak out.
I had an acquaintance come over at night. I opened the screen door but blocked him from entering. He pushed past me saying he needed to use the bathroom. He was drunk, he always carries a gun on him, he was ranting about how I needed to write his book about the true god. Several times I asked him to leave he just kept talking. I was glad I locked my dogs in my room when he first arrived. I kept standing trying to heard him out of the door, telling him how I was not going to write his book. He had a conversation with God in front of me. He was actively hallucinating. I didn't want to piss off the crazy, drunk, armed man. He told me he had stopped by many times before. YIKES. At one point he came up behind me and turned me and kissed me. At that point I backed away towards the door, went outside and told him to leave. He tried to kiss me again I didn't let him get close to me. I wished him goodnight. He finally left. I locked the door and cried, shaking. I am afraid of him. I wrote him the next day and said that a friendship with him was unhealthy for me ....good bye. I didn't call the cops because I know he is messed up and armed. I bought a security door the next day.
The doors are always locked now. THIS IS MY SAFE SPACE.
What rights do I have what should I do?
I can't handle anymore!
Should I tell my mental health nurse about my son?
My sexual assault won't leave my head
How can people be so cruel. I'm not blaming anyone, i just need support 
