I feel like I’ve done something horrible all the time… maybe I have

[greenlady2023]

I don’t know what to believe anymore. I thought things were fine but about a month ago I got flashbacks to a memory and started worrying about it. I told my fiancé and we talked it out but then I started thinking and wondering if I’d ever cheated on him. Did anything happen that one night I went out? I started going through all of my memories. Anything. I don’t recall doing anything. But then why do I feel like this. It’s been a month since all of that started and now I just don’t know anything. Everything feels confusing. I feel lost. I don’t know how to enjoy my relationship. I’m so disconnected. So lost. I feel like I’ve done something horrible. Cheated on my fiancé. I’m still replaying memories every day. Wondering, hoping. When will this stop? What do I do? I don’t think I’ve done anything but what if I have? I just want to know!

[Hidden]

Welcome to this community!Oh, how awful for you to be going through this. There is nothing worse, I think, than second guessing ourselves.

Your partner seems helpful. Am I correct in this?

[greenlady2023 in reply to Hidden]

Yes! He’s very helpful and reassuring but it just doesn’t seem to make a difference.

[Hidden in reply to greenlady2023]

I get it. I really do. Can I ask if you're seeing a therapist?

[greenlady2023 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! I just started yeah. But it just feels like ages now. Waiting till Tuesday again. My doctor prescribed me Lexapro but it’s a small dose at the moment.

[Hidden in reply to greenlady2023]

That's great!

[greenlady2023 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks! Yeah, but in the meantime I’m struggling. Don’t know what to do.