my husband found out I cheated on him and now my marriage is ruined. I’ve lied so much and I’m remorseful. My anxiety is through the roof and the depression is kicking in. I don’t know how to navigate this difficult time but any words of encouragement would help. I’m so sad and lost. I’m
Just a disgusting human that doesn’t deserve anything good. I made a huge mistake and it’s causing me to get deep into depression.
Hi,No-one here will judge you.
What your needs are now is more important than what happened in the past.
You are still deserving of receiving treatment for your mental health condition.
Finding a therapist who can deal with both anxiety/depression combination and relationship difficulties is important.
Guessing sleep is not the best either, so either a prescription medication or something over the counter from a pharmacist may help matters, at least in the short-term 😴.
A visit to your doctor is a good starting point.
If you're not sure how to bring up the problem, you might use your post as a guide.
Hoping you get some help and relief from your distress 🐈⬛
Thank you I’m trying to fight for my marriage and I am calling marriage counselors and even trying to schedule an appointment with a priest. I’m so remorseful and I want to do everything in my power to fight.
May God help you a lot and bless you!
Great advice!
Thank you so much. I am praying so much. I really pray God helps me because I truly repent.
Will pray for you. I've also done bad things and then later felt horrible. May God bless you!
May He give you His peace and His love!
disgusting sinners? I beg your pardon.
Where does it say that? I can’t see it.
it was in response to a user on this thread. They must have deleted the two responses they said everyone is a ‘disgusting sinner’. my response was directly linked to them, by deleting their comments my reply is just floating out in space.
Oh dear! That is an awful comment for them to have made. I’m so glad I have gone back to my roots as we would never say anything like that. How cruel and demoralising to anyone having a rough time.
at this point I feel like what’s the point to my life if I can’t fix my marriage. I made big mistakes but I want a chance to fix those mistakes. Right now I don’t have a purpose.
I'm sorry you feel so hopeless. Sometimes, we cannot avoid the bad consequences of our wrongdoings and we have to face them. But the purpose of our life should be God, and He'll give us strength for everything. He can bless your heart and give you joy and peace.
I hope god really listens to me I am asking for so much forgiveness. I really am.
He listens.
I'm sorry he doesn't listen, the older I got the less I believed, if there was a god why is he allowing so much bad in the world!!
Humans have free will to make their own choices.
Ya it's the same answer I get all the time, has nothing to do with free will and choices!!
Hi, Hisue. May I ask, if humans have free will, then what is the point in believing in God and asking him to help you if he has no influence in stopping bad things happening to good people, especially those who believe in him? Please do not see my question as an attack, as I am having a crisis of faith and would like to find genuine answers. I apologise if my question is too confronting. Ace
People are responsible for their choices & actions. Humans can't understand the mind of God: we don't have that capacity. God is omnipotent, omnipresent, & omniscient. We are not.
If God is omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient why has he never helped me when all I have done is believe and trust in him?
Again, humans do not have the capacity to understand the mind (or plans) of God.
Thank you for your responses; they have confirmed my belief that this notion of God is useless to me. Whether I understand his plans or not, he has not served me well, even though I have served him well. Take care.
I wish you many blessings. And I'm sorry life has been so hard.
Those who take God seriously, seek to be of service, rather than being served.
My belief is that this life is but a blip in time. We serve God here on earth and earn eternity in paradise. I cannot answer why some people suffer more than others....and we will never know. I guess that's why it's called faith-believing without seeing or understanding. You will be rewarded in your service to Him, even if it doesn't seem like it now.
Man-made gods would be easy to understand. But the Sovereign God of the universe was not created by human minds. That's why we don't always understand Him. Life can be painful. It's great that there are people who offer us advice and wish us well.
I agree.
In order to understand God's ways, we need that He enables us to understand them.
The Bible & 10 Commandments are our guides to His ways & the Holy Spirit will help with discernment.
That's the truth.
I've felt the same way sometimes. Through sermons I've learned that God wants us to trust Him. (Just sharing.)
I appreciate your kindness. God's ways don't make sense to us humans. I appreciate how respectful you are.
I feel the same way, the older I get the less I believe and I'm of a different faith. And I also agree with your other reply that it has nothing to do with free will and choices.
I understand you.
I've felt the same way. But He does listen and He allows bad things to happen, too. He has divine reasons that will be known to us in heaven. I wish you many blessings. This world is not easy.
God's ways are not possible to understand with our human mind. I hope that you have good health and peace. Life can be very hard.
I've felt the same way you do. God understands us, but it's not easy to understand His ways.
I hope that you feel much better soon.
Hmm thats a difficult one, nor am I here to judge you, firstly don't beat yourself up, obviously I don't know how your other half has reacted, and are you still in contact with him, perhaps you are clinging onto a lost cause if he's not longer wanting contact, and then you'll be fighting a losing battle, if that's the case move on,absolutely no point in clinging onto something that has got deep rooted problems, all this will do is play havoc on your emotions, and " if" your other half forgives you I'll reckon this moment of madness will be cast up, and you'll feel trapped, part on this error of misjudgement and try to be more careful in the future,I'm sure you've learned your mistakes, I hope things turn out better soon, best of luck ❤️
Thank you so much.
I'm so glad that there are people who give advice and have compassion.
It's part of my recovery, I would never go out of my way to destroy someone's life, the lady concerned is having a very difficult time and trying to find a solution is better than kicking someone when they're down, we are individuals who can make mistakes, sadly it involves people we share our lives with, we don't own each other and yes being married brings it's own "rules" and " regulations " I moved on from my previous partner, but we didn't have anyone else involved, however I had my own reasons and being part of their life meant drinking alcohol, but we still remain good friends, and no arguments, life is short and I wouldn't want my energy being burnt up and endless arguments, thanks for your reply.
You have wisdom!
I assume you did not cheat because you had the perfect relationship. So don't judge yourself too harshly.
We all make mistakes; it's human.
All will turn out good with time. You deserve to be happy! Don't go back to a relationship that was not working. Don't fight for something that will not bring you happiness and don't fight for something just because you feel guilty or you feel judged by others.
Be strong!
Thank you so much
I am sorry for you. There has to be a reason that you cheated. A family therapist could help you discover why you cheated. Maybe it is related to your history of depression. I know many relationships that have survived infidelity with counseling. Hopefully, your husband is willing to go with you to therapy.
I agree with you. Good advice!
you’re definitely not disgusting or a sinner,attractions are part of what makes us human…you sound as though you’ve spent enough time beating yourself up maybe time to realise that …best wishes going forward
Hi there,
You are NOT disgusting and you DO deserve good things. I made a really bad mistake some years ago. I felt like the worst person in the world after I made it. I felt like the worst criminal in the world (and I didn't even commit a crime!). I didn't think I deserved anything good. I thought I deserved to be in jail. I even thought I deserved death. I felt these things for a full year.
You made a bad mistake. Well, guess what? You're human. Please forgive yourself because you deserve that. Learn from your mistakes and move on with life. I know that moving on after a huge mistake is hard to do. Boy do I know that more than anything! I'm going to make a guess here, and I want you to tell me if it's right or not. My guess is that you wish you could erase those mistakes. My guess is that you don't think you'll ever feel like a good human being again until those mistakes are erased. Am I right? If I'm right, you unfortunately can't erase anything. We can't undo mistakes. It sucks big time. But that's life. Please, please, please forgive yourself. Life is too short to spend it regretting having done things that we can't erase. Learn from your mistakes, make honest amends and apologies if warranted, and move on.
Hi, do you know why you cheated on your husband? We all make mistakes, but if we analyse why we behaved a certain way, then that may help us in the future to ensure we don't make that mistake again. Regret is awful to live with, especially when we behave out of character and mess up our future. Learn to forgive yourself and remember that time does lessen the emotional pain.
So sorry. You are going through a really tough time with many worries and anxieties. By all means, seek forgiveness, but take some time out to figure this out. Is this really what you want? Whatever you do, you will have to take the consequences. I wish you peace and energy.🙏🙏
We can't judge you for what you did. We all live in glass houses. Marriage counseling is a great first step along with seeking religious counseling. Because you and your husband are of faith.
You are worthy of good things. You just made a poor decision that caused harm to your husband and yourself.
One thing I learned about apologizing is that it's much more than saying "I'm sorry" sure you feel guilty and you take the blame, ,sure it's a nice first step but that does nothing for healing. So when you say you're sorry to husband pair it with "How did my actions make you feel?" Because understanding your actions had on him and validating the feelings he is going through. Then you can begin the process of investigating "what should have happened?", "why did I do what I did?", " What do I need to do to help make this right again?"
Hope you and your husband are able to work things out. Understand that this will take time. And you have to give time, time. Also look into getting counseling for yourself. Because I sense you have somethings you need to work out as well that is separate from the marriage counseling.
Wishing you healing and love during this difficult time 🫂 ❤️
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