Im depressive and possessive and can't even keep my eyes open

[Against_the_current]

I feel so terrible all the time that i just want to sleep. I'm extremely fatigued. horrible at everything else anyway. Slowly giving up on searching for help cause i can't even understand what people are telling me, my brain is a pile of micedmeat. I get overwhelmed. I can't even read without my eyes twitching and i can't be with people without anxiety and feeling like they must adore me and only me and not look at other people or i get desperately depressed. I don't know how i will find a job like that, im ruined

[SoporRose]

I wish I could to help you! Did you ever talk to that professor who was willing to offer some advice/counseling? You seem to be spiraling down and I have no idea what sort of interventions are available to you; your prof would have a much better idea since your therapist doesn't seem to have practical suggestions.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

I didn't. I got tired of 2 therapist already digging my brain. And im fatigued and scared i will dissapoint her

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

I do remember that you said that about your other therapists. It's just that they don't seem to be helping, so I thought it might be time to ask the prof. I was thinking less about using her as a therapist and more about seeing if she knew anything about organizations that might help you find housing or financial support for mental disability of scholarships to help you be independent of your folks when you go to grad school.

I think you're more likely to end up disappointing her if you don't get the help you need. She obviously sees your value and potential, which is why she offered to help.

Maybe you need a break from both your other therapists?

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

I think you're right. Tried to call her but probably the time wasn't great. Will try again

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

It's really hard to find the right time to make a call when you are exhausted. And then when you DO get the energy to call and don't manage to reach the person you are calling, that makes the exhaustion worse. It can feel as if the universe is working against you, even if your intellect tells you that's silly.

Please don't give up. I

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Exactly, i always have the feeling like the universe wants me to go insane - dad's baby, mom's alcoholism, pandemic, war, economical crisis, not having a government since 2020 and living in something like anarchy, kicked out of my accommodation and living in a small room, my situationship jumped from the 6th floor, no real friends so i seeked help online which got me predators, bans, heartache, had to hide to have therapy sessions on the phone that made me go insane, online university, online therapy, online love, none of which did anything but damage, graduating, past trauma, some unknown allergy and chronic sinusitis, nightmares and ptsd making me act rude even though im not. It's so strange

[MaineOtter]

I’m so sorry for what you are going through! I understand and can relate to it. Please do not Give Up! Never give up, you can do this, you can get through this. You are not Ruined!! People care for you, we care for you, I care for you!!

Work on positive thinking, somethings you could say multiple times everyday: I can do this. I’m strong. I’m courageous. I’m calm. I’m a good person. I’m intelligent. I’m capable. I can get through this. I can get better.

Find a way to get up and out of bed. Start with small steps, just going to another room, sitting up, walking around. Make sure you eat and drink plenty of water even when you don’t want to!

Eating three balanced healthy meals will help you! I eat a lot baked chicken & turkey, and tuna, with veggies and fiber. Lots of cold water, keeping hydrated will help.

Talk to someone you trust, family, friend, therapist. Having a good therapist can help.

Get some exercise everyday, if you need to do it in your apartment. If necessary, start with leg lifts while sitting down. Then when you can go to Walking or marching around in your apartment. Eventually leading to going outside and getting some sunshine and fresh air. Walking outside is good, you could also try swimming in a nice warm therapy pool! This is very medicinal.

Spend some time with a loving pet. They give love unconditionally!

Most of all pray to Heavenly Father and ask for help! He wants to hear from you. God loves you and will listen.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Against_the_current in reply to MaineOtter]

Appreciate it but i don't even have another room

[AnonymousUsername13 in reply to Against_the_current]

Then just make sure u are out of bed, in ur living area. Not where u sleep.

I am the same way about relationships, so i have decided to be single. I realized it's because I'm so insecure that i don't trust a significant other. I have changed lots since this realization, but i still wouldn't trust myself to be "normal" & not possessive. I am happy being single, tho. It does get lonely sometimes, but i can contact family, friends or play video games with friends if i need to. I have too much work to do on myself to worry about trying be in a relationship. Maybe it will come one day, but it's okay if it doesn't. All of my relationships in the past were built around drugs, so they wouldn't have been healthy, anyways. U can be happy with urself, i promise. It just takes time & effort. Start 1 step at a time, like the above person mentioned. Gradually, u will see progress. U can't expect to see lots of changes overnight, else u will be disappointed again.

[Against_the_current in reply to AnonymousUsername13]

Unfortunately i don't have a living area. All i have is one room half of wich is occupied by my bed. It's weird, i never really had a relationship. Im also more keen on being alone and gaming but i can't call my family and that left a huge hole that no matter how much i tell myself im better off alone, is secretly there. Usually im really honest but the fact that there's emptiness was a long kept secret

[AnonymousUsername13 in reply to Against_the_current]

I live in an efficiency apartment, so, only 1 big room, half of which is my bed, but I still have what i consider a living area (where i go when I'm not in bed), that has a recliner & a television & gaming console. That's where I'm taking about.

[Against_the_current in reply to AnonymousUsername13]

Sounds lovely, wish i had too but no such area

[MaineOtter]

I want to add: Get a good nights sleep every night. But try to make a consistent routine, like go to sleep about the same time every night. Make the room comfortable for you and dark when you’re ready to sleep. Eventually working on waking up and getting out of bed at a reasonable time.

Take care!

[Against_the_current in reply to MaineOtter]

Good advice. Been really struggling with sleep. Day and night are reversing again

[catsrock]

Please seek out help from a doctor or therapist. I'm sorry you are feeling so badly - it sounds exhausting. Sending you lots of support that things are better soon.

[Against_the_current in reply to catsrock]

Thanks. I usually have therapists, just not having sessions soon. And my psychiatrist would say he can do nothing

[catsrock in reply to Against_the_current]

Well that's really wrong about your psychiatrist. Please take good care of yourself.

[Sashavargas]

I am in the exact position you are and I just don't know how to get out of it. I have therapists and I'm on medication but it's not helping. I feel like everytime I get help for one thing another mental health things comes up and I am baffled that my brain is doing this too me and I don't know why all of sudden it is coming up now. Just know you are not alone

[Against_the_current in reply to Sashavargas]

You too. Yeah, same. I be thinking "why does therapy make me feel like the most messed up person in the world? " Traumas and conditions be popping up like ads on YouTube

[Sashavargas]

I love that ad comment so true though. I do feel better knowing that i have other to talk about it with. Finding a support group helps

[Against_the_current in reply to Sashavargas]

Yeah, you're not alone. I really need a support group because I feel really alone