Can't Even Tell if I'm Damaged from my lack of friends

Even before the lockdown, I felt as if I was watching life but not living it. That feeling has been exacerbated by seeing all the folks who have (and I believe are exhausted) regular meetups with their friends on Zoom and such. I've only spoken to my parents and one of my cousins on the phone. I realized how little physical contact I have with people even under "normal" circumstances. As someone with no friends and without any type of romantic relationship under my belt, I wonder if the lack of physical touch has damaged me. I'm lonely as hell and still see no way out of it. If you have friends, please do not take them for granted.

[Hidden]

You definitely aren’t alone ❤️ were here for you!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. That's good to know.

[Luminous_Melody]

I don't have a lot of friends either. I don't think you're damaged. Physical touch is important and everyone right now is feeling the withdrawl of not having it. Maybe you're just hyperaware of it at the moment? Being lonely is the worst. I hope this forum can help some

[Hidden in reply to Luminous_Melody]

Even before the quarantine I was not touched much if at all. My mom hugs me but that's about it. Part of is that I am very shy and super self conscious so I do not want to make others uncomfortable so I make sure to allow everyone their personal space. Since I've never been in a relationship I do not know what it's like to have partner to hold hands with and be physically intimate. I've been so lonely for so long it's become a big part of my identity and that scares me. Who wants to be friends with a friendless person?

[Hidden]

I so understand you

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, I hope it gets better for you.