fluoxetine and bpd

[Blueandpinkskies]

Trigger warning (suicidal thoughts)

hi everyone. Just looking for a bit of advice... I started fluoxetine just over a week ago as a last resort with my mental health. I couldn't keep going the way I was going as my anger outbursts, anxiety and depression was taking over my life. I have a young child and I don't want him to be affected by this. I also have a loving, caring fiancé who I kept pushing away.

I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and I still struggle with the diagnosis. I often dislike myself, I'd go as far to say I hate myself often and that really doesn't help me trying to get better. I sometimes go into self destruct and my default is to be miserable, that's where I often feel like I deserve to be.

I started this medication even though I have tried it before, I've tried a lot before but nothing has been sustainable. I'm feeling very low today, my energy levels are non existent and I have no motivation to do anything. Everything around me is triggering me and all I want to do is curl up into a ball and sleep. I also keep having suicidal ideations which is bothering me a lot. I know the advice is to go to the doctor if this happens but I have trouble trusting doctors as I suffer from paranoia and past trauma has left a mark on me.

I really want to get better but sometimes it just feels hopeless. I don't even know what to do when I feel like this, should I let myself feel it or should I try and push past it? I'm just so tired.

[Dolphin14]

I'm sorry you are struggling.

If the medication is new could this be the reason for how you are feeling?

Yes, suggesting you seek help is the proper answer. Can't you call your prescriber?

🐬

[Blueandpinkskies in reply to Dolphin14]

thank for your reply. I felt like this before I started the medication, I've only been on it for a week and I know it can make things worse before they get better but I just wish it would hurry up as I'm sick of feeling this way. I can't call them as they're not open today, the only route I could take would be calling the emergency number (nhs 24) but I have a bad experience with this so it's putting me off.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Blueandpinkskies]

The waiting is the hardest part. We want to feel well fast and unfortunately it doesn't happen that way for us.

Im not in the UK. So I'm not familiar with your system. My thought is you need to pay very close attention to your symptoms and call immediately for help if you need it.

Please be safe. Sometimes we have to take the plunge and pick up the phone and hope for better treatment

[Raggedy-Ann]

Hi Pink, a therapist told I am my own worst bully. Would I treat anybody else the way I treat myself. I heard a resounding NO in my head. It was a Wow moment. Stop picking on yourself. Give yourself a break. I suggest you get really honest with your fiancé and tell him what is going on so he understands when you push him away. You have an illness that attacks your will to live. Don't let it take over. Get up, go outside and let the fresh air cleanse you. (blow the stink off). Try to set small achievable goals, brush your teeth, put on fresh clothes...... You're not alone.

[Blueandpinkskies in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

thank you for your kind words ❤️

[maza1]

I have been were you are and I thought Fluoxetine wasn't working for me , for the first few weeks I really thought I was going mad but I had a good doctor who told me to keep on with this medication and talking to people on here helped ,after a few weeks and I know that seems forever my head started to clear and I could think and function normally ,I know you feel worse before you feel better but do try and stick it out ,keeping asking questions people on here are helpful ,try and talk to your doctor and I know some don't understand or listen ,if you can't ring one of the helplines they usually understand

[deserey]

Fluoxetine has been a lifesaver for me. I was on it for years, and didn't realize how much it was keeping me "stable". I made the mistake of quitting it cold turkey. I wanted to die after a couple weeks. Luckily, i was able to stablize after going back on it. It took a few weeks though. I don't think fluoxetine is a "happy" drug (so to speak), but i would say that it helps keep the demons in check !