Friends in unexplained place

I have only been a member here for about 4 or 5 months. Never really connected with anyone because, as most sites, it's about cliques and favoritism. Please.... don't comment on this opinion. I'm trying to make a point. I'm nearly 54 years old and have been a member of many, many, many health websites. It's always the same.... you post a comment and most people don't respond. Then you go into your room and catch feelings. Or you become part of a group that you believe really cares for you and you really belong,,, until you find that you really don't.

Anyway, there are very, very rare occasions when you connect with a friend who you really share common interests or feelings. This, my friends, is a very rare and uncommon phenomenon. In all my years of searching online for a true and honest connection I can say that it's only happened 2 or 3 times. Not a good percentage.

But there are times when you find a friend who truly understands your pain. An online buddy who you connect with. So it's not always a misconnect. There are times when you really meet someone who understands and relates to what, and how, you feel. I know I sound a bit hypercritical but I know it's possible to find a good friend online. Albeit difficult and uncommon. I've found folks that were absolutely nuts and I've found folks that were some of the best people I could find.

My point....... never judge

[Hidden]

Hi Obsolete! I wanted to make the point of acknowledging you. I hope you are well!

[Mrspjsmom]

Try locking your posts so only the community can see them. Also followpeople you connect with. There have been some awful people here so many of us only reply to locked posts. I see you, I hear you and I acknowledge you.

[AnxiousSilver in reply to Mrspjsmom]

"Try locking your posts so only the community can see them."

On so many levels, this.

[Hidden in reply to AnxiousSilver]

Hey Silver, having questions about locking. I know how to lock post but what about replies? No one can seem to and this for me. Does it matter or just don’t respond to unlocked posts? I’m so confused about this.

[AnxiousSilver in reply to Hidden]

If you reply to a topic that doesn't have a locked post, then anybody can find it via a simple online search. (AKA the thread itself is viewable, because the OP - "Original Poster" didn't lock it)

[Hidden in reply to AnxiousSilver]

Ok, thanks for clarifying that for me.

[AnxiousSilver in reply to Hidden]

No Problem.

[Hidden in reply to AnxiousSilver]

Sorry typing too fast. No one can ANSWER this for me

[AnxiousSilver in reply to Hidden]

You're good.

[Weatherwoman in reply to Mrspjsmom]

Just wondering what a "locked post" is?

[Mrspjsmom in reply to Weatherwoman]

Before you post choose community only instead of anyone. A padlock will be displayed to the right of your post title.

[Weatherwoman in reply to Mrspjsmom]

Ok, thx.

[fauxartist]

For most of my life, I moved around constantly and never really had time to develop long term friendships. And finding a safe place full of like-minded people was very difficult for some of the same reasons you stated.... but since the anonymity and diversity of the internet, and more personal growth, I've found some very good friends here.

But in therapy, I also learned the reality of friendships was explained to me this way, the old boundary's thing.... in life you will only ever really have a very few friends in your closest inner circle of trust, then the next ring would be people you may go to a movie with or a party, but you still don't bare too much of yourself with...then the outer circle are just acquaintances you just are friendly and diplomatic with, but keep your stuff to yourself mostly.

[hypercat54]

One of the ways you get to know each other and connect is to respond to them. Not a criticism but an observation - I have looked back at some of your posts and noticed you rarely respond when you post and others have answered you?

It works both ways! If you don't respond others will think what's the point in replying to you then.

Oh and I agree with Norw. Many don't like answering unlocked posts as the whole post and all the replies go viral and can end up even on social media. If you lock your posts I am sure you will get more responses.

[LifeIsThePitts]

I understand. I've been on HU for almost a year. This is the only mental health site or forum or online group I've ever been part of. My overall experience here has been wonderfully supportive. I have a couple people that fit the description of a real connection and I'm honestly thrilled at that fact. I have very few friends in real life so finding 2 here is a blessing.

I am very active in a couple hu forums. I'm here everyday. I love sharing my journey with others like me in order to help others by helping myself grow and learn. I enjoy interacting with everyone and reading people's testimonials helps give me perspective on my own symptoms and diagnoses.

I use this site as a therapy extension to all my other self help options. It like a journal, message board, sounding board, group therapy, talk therapy, and an overall safe place to share feelings and challenges related to mental health.

I know we've exchanged thoughts and ideas in the past. You're not alone and your feelings are valid. I've just learned to take from my overall experiences what I require to keep growing and ignore the superfluous BS 💩its not always easy but ruminating on the things I don't have control over is a gigantic symptom of TRD I can work on improving ❤️‍🩹

I'm always here if you need an 👂 ear😉

[AnxiousSilver]

" It's always the same.... you post a comment and most people don't respond.

"The problem with me, is that I do reply to A LOT of posts that the community never sees, because I delete them at the last minute.

^ It's not about "who" posted the topic, it's not about the topic itself, it's that I'm simply struggling to say the right things ATM.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to AnxiousSilver]

Yup. And for me, second guessing myself.

[Capri74]

Oh yes... I think I know what you mean... is indeed not easy to find real connection out there; friends and relationships... but what I learned all this years of life basically; breakups, marriage, therapy groups, wellness websites, etc... was to always keep the door open... something good may come in one of these days... and it always does... I see you, I am here if anything, stay positive, you are worth it, be well and safe. 🙃😇