I have been trying to accept how to deal with the erratic nature of some virtual friends
For those of us who lead introverted and insular lives we can become at times too dependent on virtual friends who offer a friendship and in reality there are too many variables and unknowns in dealing with virtual friends.
I have been ghosted several times in the past and I am finding it at times too much to deal with .
The internet with virtual friendship and tut presence of trolls can antagonise someone’s mental state of that person already suffers from depression , anxiety and loneliness.
Any one care to discuss or comment ?
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Roukaya
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I can’t understand some people the way they behave, I hope I have been a good friend to you Roukaya , I think we have to learn who are our true friends really are, and I hope you feel you can talk to me anytime you need to, take care
Hello Roukaya. Loneliness is one of the reasons I am here too. I have always been an introvert, and that makes it hard to connect to others.
I learned what "ghosted" means only recently. The word reminds me of Casper, a cartoon I loved as a child. How he longed for friendship, but was instead misunderstood, an outsider.
It's a nasty new word, but the behavior has been around longer than the internet.
I hope if one of my HU friends reaches out to me I will be there, but the very nature of our forum lets us miss posts and even PMs when we are doing something else.
Trolls are something else again. I don't remember any of the nastiness I've seen here of late happening before the pandemic. Maybe we're all a bit on edge?
Hello Roukaya i have dealt with that . One person I thought who was my friend on this site turned out to be very mean and rude to me it shocked me . i wanted to leave HU because lots of bad things unfolded as well . I am now careful with who i trust and who i can share more information with . I am not trying to stir up drama or start a fight with anyone that is not my intention for anyone who reads this . Lots of hugs and support to you Roukaya ❤️🫂
Hi Roukaya it’s very difficult making genuine friends on the internet & connecting with people. Sometimes we just need someone to listen but ends up being judged, not knowing the whole truth.
I am beginning to realise some people join this Forum with their own agenda and if they do not get what they are looking for , the other person is ghosted
I know I have often taken some time to reply when you post and I am sorry. I would never ghost anyone though unless they try to harass or bully me. That I won't have. I am sure you would never do that to anyone.
Very true Roukaya. That is a very good thing to understand. With me it's not always being connected to my feelings enough to give the kind of answer I want to without coming over as trite, or dismissing anyone.
As I have been ghosted three times , three times is enough and it shows how little the other person thought of you in the first place But I think it is their loss and once I have been ghosted , it is very unlikely I will hear from them again
But a true and sincere friend would never treat you in this way so in many ways it can be a blessing in disguise
I just hope I haven't unintentionally ghosted you. I can miss posts or get wrapoed up in trying to help a new member.
I think you are right that as introverts we can get too dependent. I think I try not to bother people too much. I'm sure l don't always succeed in not being annoying.
Ghosting….I had a problem figuring out how to determine if I was being truly ghosted. It seems to me, for the most part, each individual has their own online behavior getting back to me. And vice versa. For example….my chat alert is perpetually telling me I have one alert when there are none. And even when there is actually two. I forget to check it on a regular basis, sometimes for hours, making it look like I don’t care to respond. And, yes, people have things that need to be taken care of away from online. I usually give a person, now, a few days to respond to me before I start to worry. Like NBP said there’s even ghosting in “real life”. Some friends work out, some don’t. Today I noticed I’m not getting any email alerts from HU. I’m working to get it fixed. Email alerts tell me when I need to check in on HU. Communicating on a screen definitely has its drawbacks, but I still feel it’s so worth it.
Like right now, I have to to do some cooking…..I’ll be back, though.😉👋
I hear you. I have been "ghosted" in the past and it is a form of emotional abuse. Cowards do it.I guess it is a risk we take in making attempt to form friendships. So hurtful!
I feel safer on this forum than others. I think it's because it's specifically for Anxiety and Depression support. I try to follow people here who I can relate to and are supportive and helpful. That way I get a notification when they post. I try to respond quickly but many of us live in different time zones so at times I don't respond as quickly as I'd like to. Also have been having ongoing internet issues for months. We have had some very severe weather this summer and things are better but repairs and upgrades are still going on so on weekdays I often lose it for a period of time. Hoping that ends soon.
As I have just said , I have been ghosted three times in a short time scale and it is very hurtful We are taken in a position of trust , we relate because we feel flattered someone wants to talk and if we do not fulfil the other persons needs or wants we are discarded very much like some of my own family treat me
If we are of no benefit to them we are ghosted or ignored
I guess i may worded that wrong but yes I've been ghosted too. I realize it's hard virtually to be friends because of them being able to just leave because we don't know them or their life. It's very tricky to be friends with anyone virtually. I feel your pain here.
I just read your last post on your mum. Sadly ghosting can happen in real life too. And that is a harder pill to swallow. Online dating would also be hard too if you get ghosted just being friends.
Good afternoon I think after being ghosted by three people online I can infer they were never genuine or sincere in the first place
I have often had reservations about on line friends and it can be justified by the ghosting
But I have realised it is their loss or never friends in the first place
May be to serve their hidden agenda they feign interest and if the other person does not fulfill their needs or wants we get dumped by ghosting so the issue is always with them
Ghosting can be a way of sheer emotional abuse but I can see that it is really their problem and I expect someone will ghost them as well
Ghosted is the equivalent of being dumped on line In terms of virtual friendship, one party tries to start and establish a friendship and a rapport develops
If one party does not wish to retain contact or avoid contact it is called ghosting
No answer and no explanation given , just a non response
In my experience an initial friendship is formed and we tend to talk if we are lonely We may think we have found a friend who shows care and understanding and out of the blue contact is cut off by the other party not responding to your message
This has happened three times but given the replies I have had on this site many members have experienced this
If we are not what the other party is looking for in terms of a friend, they make it quite clear that they no longer wish to talk by ignoring your messages
It has happened three times but there are many on this site who have been kind and encouraging
Well you speak from experience but this is a site where the majority of members are supportive and encouraging I don’t know when too joined this site but in time the vast majority are supportive and understanding
It is a only a few which resort to ghosting tactics
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I demand the right to be one....
covert narcissistic best friend
I need a friend, someone to share my moments with. 
looking to make friends who understand and support me during these troubled times
How would other people act in this situation? Not sure whether to ditch this friend.
I have tons of friends but no one understands my soul
