My Story

[skeetersfly]

Over the last 18 months a lot of changes in my life.

1) Broke up with my girlfriend after 3+ years

2) Quit a job after almost 20 years

3) Watched my Mother pass away after a stroke

4) Moved to a new city where I knew no one

5) Started a new very demanding job

6) Bought a new house

7) Began a new relationship with my next door neighbor

8) Walked in with my new girlfriend to discover her Mother had died

9) Had the new girlfriend break up with me (about 6 weeks ago)

10) Over the past several weeks noticed several different vehicles parked in my former girlfriend’s driveway all night.

I likely have a tendency towards depression. I had quite a bit of trauma through my early and late teens. The latest issues have taken me to a low that I haven’t experienced in quite a while.

My purpose here is just to share my story and maybe find some understanding.

[deborah27]

Phew! I'm exhausted just reading your post. Which of the things you list are going well for you, what about your new house? What about your new job, hows it going?

[skeetersfly in reply to deborah27]

The new house is good. The best thing is that I now live close enough to have Thanksgiving with my Dad and my extended family. I was living on the other side of the country for a long time. This is my first Thanksgiving at home in 26 years. I’m so thankful to be home.

I’m just dreading going back to my house.

[deborah27 in reply to skeetersfly]

Wow, sounds amazing, you have made a right move by the sound of it . Make new memories this Thanksgiving. As for dreading going back to your house, I'm sure you have lots to do, sorting this and that. Just think you have your future ahead, you can make new friends, maybe meet someone new etc.. never mind how many vehicles are parked in her driveway... you have to move onwards and upwards. Life is what you make it, you sound as though you are really on a new journey. Just go for it.

[skeetersfly in reply to deborah27]

Yes, I do feel like I’m on a new journey. Making it through this rough patch is the challenge right now. That feeling of maybe not really knowing someone after being with them for over a year is probably the worst part.

I’m working on keeping busy by connecting with friends from work and spending time with them outside of work. I’m also keeping busy exercising and volunteering for extracurricular activities at work.

I also rescued a new puppy, which comes with its own challenges and expenses. However, I could not imagine how I could have made it through the last few weeks without this new addition.

Thanks so much for understanding and helping. I had no idea if anyone would respond to my post.

[deborah27 in reply to skeetersfly]

I think you are going to be fine. Enjoy your new companion, a real best friend. We aren't a million miles apart, we are only a txt away. Keep in touch.

[skeetersfly in reply to deborah27]

I will. This community may be just the support I need. Thanks again, and I just want you to know that you really helped me today.

[deborah27 in reply to skeetersfly]

You are more than welcome, I may need your support one day.

[sweetiepye in reply to deborah27]

Great post. That's the way it's done.

[skeetersfly in reply to deborah27]

Absolutely!!!

I just hope to help half as much as you did.

[quitter333]

Aside from your new-ex-gf, you sound like you are doing a-ok.

Keep moving, hustle and don't look back (like your new-ex-gf. Once a traitor always a traitor)

[Ardraven]

I think others have made a pretty good assessment of things saying that you're doing amazingly well apart from the new ex and that's not likely to be your fault. Unless she causes trouble for you again I agree with others that you should just get on with your life and don't pay her much mind. If she lost her mother in the last few months she may be struggling with grief and not have much perspective right now. If she hasn't mistreated you other than breaking up with you and you think she's worth not giving up on completely then it's possible that she will realise she's made a mistake when she deals with her own issues & it's up to you if you want to try again then. Just don't put your life on hold in any way in the mean time. If she doesn't realise her mistake or you meet someone better then know that it's her loss and don't regret a thing. Also if she has ever done anything else to make you feel less than of value then protect your own happiness and don't give her another chance she doesn't deserve.

I'm glad you are discovered the benefits of dog ownership. My dog is literally my best friend and has saved my life more than once just by being there for me and being so happy to see me! Remember a dog is for life, girlfriends come and go 😁

[skeetersfly in reply to Ardraven]

All I can say is THANK YOU to all of the members of this community!!!

The responses to my post have been more than helpful and understanding.

I was warned by more than one person that it may not be the best idea to date my neighbor. I didn’t listen, and continued on with our relationship. The end result is just something I’ve never experienced before. It is hitting me so much harder than I could have ever imagined.

It may be a while before I can be of any help to anyone in this community, but please know that I now owe each of you a lot. I want to contribute and hopefully help someone feel better one day.

[Ardraven]

I try to help other posters on here partly because it fills in some of the day when I'm stuck at home by myself and serves as a good distraction from my own issues when I'm brooding too much and need something else to think about. So you've already helped me without trying or realising it.

[skeetersfly]

Wow!!!

Thank You for sharing that.