Realised something. And applied for the job after all the overthink

[Against_the_current]

I did a survey for my uni-mate on parents relationship and romantic relationship and I was feeling so sad that my parents traumatized me this much. Then i realised "damn, my parents traumatized the hell out of me but my second score is secure attachment style. Basically had so much pain and im still secure, my love is stable and safe. And I worked hard for this. Went through therapy and insights. Learnt to be with myself. Accepted dark sides of me and unrooted them. I crashed the laws of psychology. When laws of psychology say if your parents are avoidant/anxious/mixed style so are you, i said watch me be secure"Note : in psychology attachment styles are secure, anxiety, avoidant, anxious -avoidant(fearful/mixed)

Doing hard things. Having nightmares and going to exams, acing them, working out, going to therapy, working on myself, applied for a job, trying to be a good friend

[Hidden]

This is a really good thing, right? Congratulations!!!

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

Thanks. I'm excited

[Hidden]

It sounds like you are on the right track! You have recognized some strengths and weaknesses and you are working on correcting some of your "weaker areas". That's great!

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

Thanks 😊

[Darkhouse]

Life is a journey, the only direction is forward....... You sound like you're crushing it.... Congrats!!!!

[Against_the_current in reply to Darkhouse]

This made me feel good 😄

[Green9871]

Family trauma can be so hard to heal from, I'm still on that journey. I hope one day I can be like you with a secure attachment style. Congratulations on all the hard work you have put in for your mental health. You deserve it!

[Against_the_current in reply to Green9871]

Thank you! I'm still working, having setbacks, flashbacks, nightmares. But there's hope. You will get there

[Mumbutterfly]

Love this

I’ve been working my way back through my emails from this site when I didn’t feel like I had anything to contribute. I found one that you posted in but was unable to get to the post itself.

Anyway, you asked if anyone had a book recommendation which had a character who had abusive parents. Brandon Sanderson has some books that have characters like this. They are very strong but most people don’t see how much they have overcome or how hard it is sometimes. His Mistborn series has a female protagonist who is the main character. Her story arc is fantastic! His Stormlight series has another female protagonist who is one of the main characters and her story arc is also amazing.

I first read these two years ago and have reread them multiple times because they’re just so good. I’m a lifelong book lover and most of what I read is through the library because I don’t usually read a book more than once. I use the e library now and love being able to listen to the audio version of some of the books I enjoy. The only drawback of the library is having to wait for a book to become available so I have bought some that I like to read/listen to over and over.

[Against_the_current in reply to Mumbutterfly]

Beautiful. Appreciate searching my posts to give me inspiration

[Mumbutterfly in reply to Against_the_current]

I realized later that you were probably talking about books that deal directly with abusive parents. One that addresses this in at least part of the book is When the Body Says No. There are therapists on Instagram who deal with this. One specifically is Laura K Connell.

[Against_the_current in reply to Mumbutterfly]

Thanks. I really like therapists' pages