New here. Introductory 1st post.

[RosieandJojo]

Hello. 44yo male here,

I have had issues with anxiety from an early age, and I have been battling depression for the better part of a decade now.

I was engaged to be married in April of 2021, but that relationship ended in March of last year. The relationship was not healthy and could be described as abusive. She would constantly nitpick everything. Nothing was ever good enough, and she had a habit of putting me down whenever the opportunity arose.

You may ask, "Why stick around in such an unhealthy relationship?" I was desperately lonely after another failed relationship where I was cheated on, and that ex was impregnated by another man. I wanted this relationship to work. I also felt a bit trapped as we got a puppy (Rosie) together a few months into the relationship, and she is my heart. With my work schedule, I cannot look after Rosie. I work nights and only get 1 night off per week. So, my ex has her. Until a week ago, I visited Rosie for a couple of hours on my off day ( the highlight of my week), and would let her out and spend some time with her on evenings when my ex was working. However, my ex informed me that she has started seeing someone, and that my visits are problematic for her new relationship.

Anyway. That's where I am currently. I haven't been sleeping well for the pady week, and I don't have much of an appetite. Visualizing a future for myself is difficult to say the least right now. I also have serious trust issues when it comes to the idea of ever developing a new relationship.

[Agora1]

Welcome new virtual friend. We are happy to have you here with us.

Life sometimes "stinks" doesn't it?. We all are looking for happiness and

hoping we find it w/o getting hurt. You lost your little furry friend as well,

the only one giving you unconditional love. But know that life's journey

teaches us lessens we learn from and can grow stronger from.

You are young. Don't ever give up as to where Fate may be taking you.

You may be pleasantly surprised one day when you turn the corner and find

your forever love. My best to you. xx

[EndUser13 in reply to Agora1]

I'm not young, you're young! I'm 44 and when people say "oh you're still young", I just can never grasp it.

I always like seeing your replies Agora, I need to learn to talk to myself the way you speak to others

[Diamond99]

hello Welcome I am so sorry that you are going through all of these tough things I know it can’t be easy I am here for you if you need a friend or just someone to talk ok

[RemySue]

Welcome! Post as often as you need to : ) You are not alone

[EndUser13]

Welcome to the forums 🙂

Try not to overlook your importance in this world. You may have had poor relationships in the past but you can learn from these and find something better in the future. For the moment, it sounds like you could really use some time to focus on yourself. Don't be afraid to take small steps, they'll add up to good progress.

I write this realizing I can have a very negative inner monologue which I am currently working on. Don't forget to show yourself some kindness!

[Hidden]

Perhaps this new relationship she has is a blessing in disguise. It sounds like she did not have your best interests at heart in the way she treated you and is probably not a healthy person to be with. I feel for you and missing Rosie. I know another dog is not going to be able to replace Rosie or anything, but sometime down the road maybe you can look in to getting a dog if that has been a beneficial, happier addition to your life. Relationships can be very scary because well...people. But in time, you will hopefully find people that respect you, treat you properly, and help encourage you to be a better version of yourself!