Going to mom's for new year. I have really bad symptoms these days. Tachicardia,shortness of breath, want to cry. Feeling so alone.

[Against_the_current]

i think i will stay just 1 day because i have therapy at 2nd jan and school at 3rd. I feel like a ghost existing in a parallel dimension. No support. Family scares the hell out of me, friends are gone because of my mental illness. Im all alone and my body responds to it. My mind tooPlus exams, graduating, an internship for the university, an internship of my choice and a job offer. I don't know how i could do all this when all week i can't write my assignment.

My psycho-somatic symptoms are so bad. Especially in sertain hours. Someone here recommended ayurveda and I was just going to the pharmacy to get a holistic brand i trust and i found out they stopped trading with my country. Thinking about going to a local holistic shop but im so socially anxious talking with the salers. I couldn't even freeze my gym card because i was scared that the staff was already tired from working on the holidays and i thought that exercise is at least a bit of health to me and being with people even though they don't talk to me. Everyone in this country is so hostile. My body and mind respond to this alienation. Staying in my little cluttered filled with all kinds of stuff room. I wish at least i could declutter it. I get sick just by staying here, alone, with all the mess that i have nowhere to put. I feel like society chewed me up and spitted me out. And im so grateful that i have this platform. You're the only people giving me the advice, compassion and socializing i need. Thank you

Hope mom behaves (hope my anxiety behaves too) and I feel better for seeing family (even though im scared to death of it) and having more space (but no personal space). It's just 1 or 2 days i tell myself. Hope i can do my work. Luggage, assignments, therapy, laundry, school... and enjoy new year and have a good year . I really need a good year

[SoporRose]

I am fervently wishing you a much better 2023. I hope your time at home goes well.

"graduating, an internship for the university, an internship of my choice and a job offer." All this is fantastic. You continue to amaze me, the way you accomplish so much when life is dragging you down. Wow.

Ruth

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Thank you Ruth. I just hope i make it through the days home

[HerMommy1325]

You got this. Remember to do lots of breathing. Try time blocking and see if that will help the few days you are gone. 9 to 10 study 10 to 11 visit with family 11 to 12 lunch 12 to 1 go for a walk 1 to 2 study 2 to 3 take a nap to recharge 3 to 4 visit with family 4 to 5 study 5 to 6 dinner 6 to 7 go for a walk 7 to 8 family time 8 to 9 read, shower and unwind. This is just an example of what has helped me when I am overwhelmed and stressed and have a lot to accomplish. You got this!!!

[Against_the_current in reply to HerMommy1325]

Thank you so much