Childhood abuse

[Civicsforever]

I dont know how to be coherent or where to say this but I've started recently going to a therapist regularly and just started opening up about my childhood. My therapist has been referring to my childhood as an abusive one and I'm scared to hear that. I guess I've never thought of it that way and I dont know how to process it. Even referring to it as abuse makes me feel weak honestly and I feel like so many other people experienced much worse things then me. I just dont know how to have the empathy for myself and own up to I guess my own abuse.

[Stippler]

I can understand how you feel that way. I have been through similar things. Please know that this is not a sign of weakness on your part. Rather the contrary. And I see you as very brave to post your feelings here. I wish you the best on your journey. You are not alone. 🙏🙏🙏

[Not_Free]

It's a hard thing to admit to ourselves that we were abused ... I know this firsthand. I love my family, but the things I suffered at their hands were not right. It's OK to be angry. In fact, it's necessary to get angry, it doesn't mean you don't love them, but it is the beginning of healing.

[RemySue]

I hear you! It was so hard for me because I felt so guilty-others had it worse.. Just because it wasn't horrific doesn't mean it wasn't abuse. I hope you find healing-it's work but worth it

[JeezLouise]

Wow, same. Felt others had it worse but finally realized that didn't diminish the neglect and abuse I suffered. Sounds like a lot of us feel this way. Keep working with your therapist if they're a good fit for you but there will be discomfort and probaby tears. Therapy has helped me immensely and I'm so much better now. Good luck and hang in there!

[designguy]

I had this difficulty when I first started getting serious about addressing my real issues and doing what was necessary to heal. I had not suffered from major ptsd but then i found out about c-ptsd and childhood emotional abuse and even emotional abandonment and how much it can affect people just as badly as ptsd. I knew I had issues with my father but denied that I also had issues with my mother. We are conditioned to want and need a secure attachment, love and validation from our parents but most of us don't actually get it. The last thing we want to admit is that the people who were supposed to love us and take care of us also abused us and even abandoned us at least emotionally. We can also feel guilty for feeling the way we do but all it is doing is holding you back from fully accepting what happened to you and realizing that none of it was your fault and processing the hurt and anger at the loss of what could have and should have been. I realized that the shame and anger I had carried around for years was not mine it was my parents shame and anger about themselves that they placed on me because I was too young to know any better and didn't have the ability to understand it at the time. It takes courage to be willing to embrace the harsh reality of our past and to process and heal it but if you don't you continue to be a victim of your past and your perpetrators and will continue to repeat the dysfunction. Healing is definitely worth it. I worked with a therapist that specialized in treating trauma/c-ptsd and used emdr as part of the therapy which was very helpful. My best to you in your healing.

[splash186]

this is just the beginning of the journey, friend. I’m so sorry this is a struggle. There will come a day when you come to an understanding of your childhood experiences, how they’ve shaped you, and why it is hard to admit this. I’m an adult child of an alcoholic and it took me a very long time to accept and admit even that I experienced trauma.