I don't see a point in trying anymore...

[Milkshake_15]

I made some seriously stupid decisions as a teenager that are affecting my ability to move forward in life. It seems like because I wasn't able to turn my life around before COVID, it's hopeless and I'm never going to have the life I want. No matter what I do to try and move forward, it never works out. I'm tired of trying and trying and trying only to fail. I don't see the point anymore. It feels hopeless. I want to give up on myself. There are seven billion people on this planet, what does it honestly matter if I keel over?

[KarateKenny]

I'm really sorry about that. I understand the feeling of being stuck in a rut. I'm cheering for you and praying for you. I hope that some day we can get past all of these problems in our lives

[aequitas1983]

Hey Milkshake....

It's unfortunate that those decisions are still impacting you today. There's a lot of context that's hard to figure out....depending on how long ago those decisions were and what types they were to give you perfect advice.

Regardless, the past is the past. Depending on the impact of those decisions on yourself or maybe others....the best place to leave these things impacting you now is where they belong: the past. Those decisions were made, it's over, and now we're living with what cards are played. That's totally fine.

I think a lot of your outlook is impacted by the decisions made. Have you sought out counseling or therapy for them? If you come to terms with those decisions, it might help you going forward. Forgiving yourself (if applicable) and even realizing your human....and that all teenagers make bad decisions or mistakes. It might help to hear a lot of this so you can move forward.

I am not trying to be mean and just being straightforward: are your current issues with failing related to the decisions? When you say you fail....are you trying different methods to succeed? Counselors/therapists aren't always life coaches but perhaps they could suggest something different to try. And let me also say....it's easy to fail....it's the easiest option sometimes. Trying and putting your effort forward....that's hard. I'm not suggesting you're lazy and not trying. I truly believe you are trying. But this reminds me of a book I had to read because I landed in academic probation in college. Stephen Covey (the author, now deceased) talks about paradigms as sort of our map.....and when things on that map don't seem to be taking it us where we'd like to go....it's time for a paradigm shift. I know most people will refer to old quote, paraphrasing....insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I don't believe you're in that category either. But it's time to think outside of the box. Talk to us here if you feel going a little more in depth about what happened and where you're trying to go. If not us, any friends or family? If not any luck there, speak with an unbiased opinion in a counselor or therapist to address both what happened and your frustration going forward in life. It seems like you're stuck in some mud or quicksand....let's get you out of there.

I know it feels helpless and pointless when you're getting the same results. I know you feel like you want to give up on yourself, but please do not. Refuse to do that. Go with the harder route and don't give up on yourself. Back on the horse, we're going to try again....but let's try something else with the paradigm shift. Surely there's another route on this metaphorical map. There are billions of people on the planet but there is only one you.....I don't know you, but good things could be right around the corner for you. There is an exponential amount of good "maybe" situations for you....maybe you'll cure cancer, maybe you'll do the one thing you're trying to do, or maybe you'll feel whatever purpose it is that you need. Keeling over....please do not do. There is purpose and it's somewhere on that map. Somewhere on that map is letting the past be the past. Somewhere on that map is a new area to a successful path to where you'd like to be rather than those you've tried that just seems to lead you to an area where you're at a dead end of the maze of life. No matter what your decisions were....they do NOT have to define who you are today. You do matter and no amount of our species there are.....that is no reason to keel over and give in.

Feel free to share more if you're comfortable. There are so many wise people in this group who can give their advice, support, and maybe even suggestions. Most importantly, if you do feel an urge on this keel over idea....please call emergency services for help. I don't get that vibe from you at all, but it's a good disclaimer. Please know that people do care and even if some of us are strangers to you, we are here for you. I am sure that there are others in your life that value you more than you realize. Regardless, we're here....please keep your head up and get through this rough patch. Take care and please be kind to yourself while you manage your thoughts....it's easy to be rough on yourself.

[Nothingnoted]

Milkshake please dont give you are here for reason. You are special. You might notknow it you could be making such a big difference in someones life right now. I struggle with the same emotions you are feeling. Take one day at a time. You have a lot to offer the world you just dont know it Please be kind and gentle to yourself you deserve it. You deserve so much happiness and peace

[CindyKatherine]

Hello Milkshake, it is very difficult to go past some kinds of past mistakes especially when it seems things are not just working out and you can link some of these current experiences to mistakes of the past. It can be frustrating. But it is not peculiar to you as NO ONE HAS A CLEAN SLATE IN LIFE. We have all messed up time and time again. But, we respond to these skeletons of before differently because of but not exhaustively, our resilient level, degree of social support, passion, success/failure in other areas, age, personality, and on and on. Dear, please be strong for a lot of people who eventually became great failed a “thousand” times.

Also, remember you are special and are here in this world for a reason. And a lot of people care about you. I know too well that failure becomes more difficult when it bears the weight of social/another type of stigma. Nevertheless, please always remind yourself that your failures do not define you. It is our CURRENT DECISIONS that reveal our true colour. And, thanks, because although you felt like keeling over, yet, you have chosen to discuss it with us (not minding some of us being strangers). What a virtue—to seek help when needed, to trust, and so on. That is smart and lovely.

Please, keep in mind that delays are never denial. An African proverb says “you don't struggle for the kingship”. Its positive interpretation is, what is yours can never pass you by.