why can’t I have good days anymore

[Adamj]

all my good days seem to be behind me all I want to do is sleep it’s horrible. Finally have a psychiatrist appointment on Friday. Tired of being stuck in my head no matter what I do tired of the dry heaving tired of it all. I’m so convinced I’m to far gone can’t convince myself of anything else I just feel Ill still convinced I’m dying because of how bad I just feel mentally and physically tired of crying I still exercise twice a day. Tired of the anxiety and whatever else is going on. Can’t take living like this. I feel so hopeless and sad and just bad. I’m lonely even though I have my girlfriend and my mom. Maybe this is my destiny and this is the end.

I know most of you are over my posts but I wish someone would just understand how traumatic and severe this is for me I went from having such an open life and now I’m in a box

I cannot stop obsessing about my heart health too it’s so annoying it stems from my mom having heart issues after she turned 50 my pap having heart issues after he turned 50 my dad having an irregular heart beat my great uncle dying in his 60s after mowing the grass from a heart attack. Me having this chest pain that comes and goes lower rib pain left arm tension center of back pain between shoulder blades then you see on the news about someone having a heart attack or something. Yes I’ve had tests done they were all normal. I don’t drink caffeine alcohol smoke anything.

My mind won’t shut tf up no matter if I try mediation, yoga, exercising, sleep.

[Justin-Sane]

Hi Adam, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I was in a similar situation and you can only beat it through hard work. Therapists and medications can help but in the end it's your choice. You can continue to suffer or you can change. Stay positive man, you can do it!

[Adamj in reply to Justin-Sane]

What do you recommend I do though I’m so lost.

[Justin-Sane in reply to Adamj]

Stay busy. You need to get out of you head. Join a daily partial program if you can, or any support group that will help you. And stay positive. For every bad thought you have replace it with two positive thoughts. You must rule your mind or it will rule you.

[Adamj in reply to Justin-Sane]

What do you mean by a partial program?

[Justin-Sane in reply to Adamj]

A partial hospitalization program like an outpatient program for mental health.

[Adamj in reply to Justin-Sane]

Oh okay

[b1b1b1]

I am not "over" your posts and I don't think anyone else is either. It's very good that you have the psychiatrist app't on Friday!! Let us know how it goes. As to your relatives having heart issues -- first, I bet they weren't taking care of themselves, second, they probably were not getting regular cardiologist exams and third, there are many many more treatments for heart issues now. I know this because my husband had heart problems. Right now take good care of your health -- exercise, eat healthily, watch your weight and BP. When you are forty you might want to start checking things with a cardiologist -- or sooner, if you prefer.

[Adamj in reply to b1b1b1]

Thank you will post an update when I talk to the psychiatrist

[Starrlight]

Keep hoping for the best and never give up. After every difficulty comes ease. I felt so much like you just a few weeks ago and suffered for many many years but now I have somehow settled down and look at the anxiety and depression bipolar ocd ptsd all differently. I am able to use my tools I had collected yet I couldn’t use them at first. What type of tools do you like?

I’ll give you some examples:

Walk in the grass barefoot for grounding.

Meditate (even 5 minutes of deep breaths can help bring a calmer state)

Calming tea

Adrenal edge tonic (you can buy it on Amazon)

Go out in nature

Music

Exercise

Positive thinking

Cleaning environment around you

Writing like you do here also journaling or art

Alone time to recharge

Gardening

Dark chocolate

Have you heard of tapping? Look it up on you tube and try it.

Also think of things that are right or ok or good and give thanks

… hope at least one of these eventually helps. Let us know… also add onto this toolbox if you want.

[Adamj in reply to Starrlight]

I’m trying to not give up but I just have any hope anymore it really feels like my brain is shot it’s so frustrating

[Starrlight in reply to Adamj]

I know that feeling - when I’m anxious and my brain doesn’t respond how I want it to, like tonight it really messed with me and I made impulsive choices that I want to have more control over… which makes me worry more … it is frustrating but it can get better. We have to trust the process of healing.

[Starrlight]

Also… fear is not dangerous

[Agamemnon2022]

Unfortunately, life is really about fighting the negative thoughts within our own heads. It can sometimes be exhausting to fight depression. I was diagnosed with depression 30 years ago. I have come to terms that I will never be "cured," per se, but I still can learn coping mechanisms which help mitigate the effects. I still can have a more fulfilling life if I try to build it. I say this to everyone with depression I meet: Life can still be beautiful for people like us but we have to fight for it. It will get better, if you fight it.

[Adamj in reply to Agamemnon2022]

I’m so lost on how to fight them. I try and tell myself that it’s just anxiety and depression making me feel so weird but it never works anymore.

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Adamj]

You could label them differently. Our negative thoughts often come from other people in childhood usually, telling us how rubbish we are. They are the gremlins that sit on our shoulders. You can tell them to ******** off (please use any expletive you desire). Tell them they are no longer relevant to our lives - that bully, that vindictive teacher, that other person in authority, etc, etc. Keep telling them to buzz off often enough and you will see your way more clearly. Tapping is good too.

[DodgeDhanda]

Hi AJ.

Firstly, good luck with ur appointment on Friday.

Now a suggestion as I see U've tried other things already. My suggestion is reading!! I read fictional stuff always fictional , with comics & sci-fi being 2 of the best & in most case 2 in 1 & I do this to get out of my head & put the fictional places , buildings & character's in thereinstead & the scenery is how I imagine it is & I use it as an escape. Same with crime fiction & I enjoy Agatha Christie novels & some Arthur Conan Doyle too. It's all about me overthinking everything & replace it with other images & thoughts .

Finally, good luck with ur appointment on Friday.

[catsrock]

I'm so sorry - sounds really hard. I totally get the heart issue stress - so many people in my family have died from heart issues, it's scary. It's good you are taking care of yourself and getting checked out and not smoking, etc... I also too have felt like I was so over everything and wanted it to end, many times. Mental health issues are incredibly painful and I hope you get some relief soon. Just know that there are others who get it and are rooting for you.

[Beholy]

Hi Adam, I'm going through a similar situation with the awful anxiety and so so tired of not being able to do anything but eat so I can I take my medicine so I can sleep, I also suffer with horrible migraine daily, I take 3 different kinds of meds. for the migraine alone, I have 3 Anuerysm having surgery for that September 22, 2022, dizziness, nausea , and when I walk I have I have to bé be careful and this happens everyday all day. Not to worry GOD IS ÍÑ CONTROL 🙏❤️