I'm depressed and I do not know why and it hurts me worse because I feel like I am being illogical. But I can't shake the feeling. I am anxious over every little thing. Whether it be keeping the house clean, the stupid ass credit card my ex stole that I now owe on, or just plain feelings like giving up on life because I don't feel like I am going anywhere. I have zero motivation which is unlike me because I never give up. Overall, I just feel despair and like I am unloved and it doesn't seem to matter anymore how much anyone tells me I am worth. I feel so down about myself I don't know why I decided to start dating again. I also wish I didn't feel anymore or care because caring means more pain and I just wish I could numb everything. I don't look at myself in the mirror anymore either because I hate myself so much and although I know it's me I am looking at I can't recognize myself as a person. Yup, this all sounds pretty unhealthy but I have no means or access to a shrink.