Anxiety and Feeling Safe

[Mom2PCat]

On Monday I was sitting in my bedroom with my cats. I was playing on my switch and was ready to go to physical therapy in a few hours. All of a sudden I felt so much anxiety and panic that I didn't even want to leave my bedroom. It was hard to even think about walking out that door. I don't know what happened, there is 1 person at PT and I've known him for years. I calmed down enough to go but it was a fight. Now I'm still in a panic mode, have a terrible headache and am exhausted. I don't know why I'm like this. I was never like this until 2019,before Covid, before everything went crazy. Now it just feels dark and I am fighting just to sit in the living room with my son and his girlfriend and infant grandson. I just want to be me again.

[blue-green-purple]

I have been a homebody most of my life but since covid, it developed into full blown agoraphobia. It comes out of no where and I can't go through my front door. Definitely terrifying and totally irrational. I know that I am safe but it sure doesn't feel that way all the time. During a bad episode, I wrap myself in a blanket, turn off the phone, lock my doors and hunker down on the couch with my 2 little dogs and watch something light on tv to distract myself. I thought I was doing the right thing in that it made me feel better initially but actually it just reinforced more episodes. Eventually it passes or the dogs need to go out into the backyard which actually helps even if it just gets me off the couch for a few minutes. It was hard enough before covid dealing with treatment resistant depression and anxiety but now this? Now I fight it as much as I can. A routine definitely helps. I don't recommend giving in to it. At least it made things worse for me. Just my experience of course. Good luck to you.

[Arymretep in reply to blue-green-purple]

I think covid has a lot to answer for, I had a melt down last year after being in lockdown., really anxious and couldn’t cope with anything, which isn’t me, after a course of antidepressants I’m feeling better but still get anxious over anything that’s not “my normal” routine .