Trying to move on

its happening again, I start thinking about the girl who got away. The one I loved and who loved me. I broke her heart so many times, she hates me. Wishes she never met me, I can't blame her.said if she ever saw me again shed call the cops. Our relationship is over.

But god do I miss her. I miss what we had and I absolutely hate myself. Almost as much as I hate Tinder, which is like this soul sucking mistress I always go crawling back to when I get lonely enough. It will never come close to replacing what I had and odds are it will only provide a distraction. Or leave me feeling even worse. Or complicate my life.

Just feel so empty.

[catsrock]

I'm so sorry. Sounds very difficult. I hope with time, your heart heals and you can look back and see what you learned from the relationship.

[Thefirewithin]

i understand how you feel and your honesty makes me feel there are still good men who can grow up and take responsibility for their actions. I miss my ex husband, he became abusive because suddenly he was diagnosed with bipolar 1, ptsd and anxiety i went through alot but god i would still die for him. Unfortunately he was physically towards our 15 year old child and then toward me when i tried to protect her and went to jail all because his mind told him we were trying to kill him that day. He wasnt always like that it broke our hearts but i cant be with him ever again i do understand though im sorry

[Hidden in reply to Thefirewithin]

so sorry to hear that. I think the hardest part is feeling like i'll never find anybody who could possibly replace her or make me feel the same way. I could easily find someone to distract me as awful as that sounds. But she made me feel like life was worth living. Even our fights were great.

[Midori]

Please don't look for love on the Internet, Those sites are full of scammers.

First you need to build your resilience, I can see the lady has really hurt you, but jumping into another relationship won't help, unless you work on your self- confidence first. It takes time, not a quick fix.

My last relationship ended 31 years ago. I won't go into details again, most folk have heard it interminally, but I was left with 2 children and a funeral and an estate to administer.

The PTSD took many years to resolve, and I can still be triggered quite easily. But I did heal, although it took some unconventional self-therapy to get there.

Have you seen your doctor? If not please do so, medicational support can help in the short to medium term.

Find some new interests, don't mope around at home, there are many things you can do, and one of the best is volunteering for a Charity.

Cheers, Midori

[Driftr]

As a female id say give her some time. Im not sure what the circumstances between you guys is or was but if she truly loved you maybe she just needs some time to clear her head and get grounded again before she will talk. Hoping for the best for you! Here if u need anything

[Hidden in reply to Driftr]

unfortunately no, its definitely over for good. She got together with my other ex and they just fuel each others mutual hate for me. Says she hates the fact she ever cared about me, meeting me was the worst thing that ever happend to her. Apparently every time she sees my face it makes her want to die.