Sorry its me again, I just have to tell you about todays experience.
I have a lot of guilt concerning my mother and not being a good son when she was alive. She died 33 years ago. So today i started to talk to her as if she was still here. Told her i was sorry, That im a better person now, She used to say to me you will miss me when im gone. She said this to me many times, but i never understood this or took no notice. I know what she ment now! Anyway i got up to go to the bedroom. And started to sing a song, This is not like me i dont sing to myself. So here is what i sang. When you need love just reach out your hand i will be love, I,m only a heart beat away!!!!!!!!!!!!. Sorry i,m in tears.
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gerrerd
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never be sorry for speaking your heart, I'm glad your making your peace with your mother. Regret and guilt are like 'Acid in a Vessel', eventually the acid just eats through and it's so devastating. Sometimes it takes the time it takes for us to come to terms with things, your a good son, she knows that...and a good cry is cathartic
Your mother was right you did miss her! Wow that's amazing. My grandma always told me not to be sad when she left me because she was going to a better place but she would always be there to watch over me.....I believe in that. And she has I have been saved from some very bad situations, and I always believed it's because she is watching over me just like she said. So the singing....did your mom sing? Maybe she is with you helping you.
When you said did my mother sing not as i recall, But you just brought a memory back to me. The day before she died she was singing out load. And i cant recall her ever doing this before. Same as me its very rare for me to do this. This is very strange whats going on Ray.
It came threw me I think it was a message from her, I didnt even realise i was singing or what i was singing. Until i heard the words. I have never sang this song in my life until today. Love from Ray.
Whats going on? I have just been into the garden singing at the top of my voice. Looked over to all the birds in the tree they stayed there listening to me, They generaly fly of when they see me. ????????????????????????????????
Don't be afraid Ray. Sing and rejoice the feeling. I believe that people can reach out to us. Your mother may be letting you know that she is watching over you and you will never be alone. She choose this day, her birthday, to let her son know that she loves him. x
There aren't the rational answers in life as to many of our questions about loved ones we have lost. I feel you have opened your heart in song today and your mother heard you. x
Exhausted after this now Im going for a rest i need it, Thank you all for going threw this experience I now know why i had a tremendouse urge to share it. God bless each and every one of you. Ray.
That's lovely Ray and I am sure she heard you up there. I like to think that our loved ones stay with us then we join them when it's our turn to pass. You were obviously young when she went but you will meet again.
Thank you for trusting us with your emotions and feelings my friend. They are in safe hands here. Bev x
Thank you the experience was even better because i shared it with people on here while it was happening, Strange things are going on at the moment i get woken in the middle of the night and loads of stuff to put on the forum is coming to me. I dont know were its coming from. I had to get a pen and note pad to write it down. Thats why there,s been so many posts. So it,s a bit crazy same with the pictures I dont pick them i click on one, and it always the right one.????? lots of love from Ray.
Its still going on, Went to bed well i started to sing again even loader. After a while i noticed that the words had changed. I was now singing. When you need love just open your heart and i,ll be love, I,m only a heart beat away, I tried to stop singing but could not. I had no control of it!!!!!!!!! It,s now changed again to.Give me hope Jehovah. And i dont go to church or sing hymes . anyway my voice is going. Waiting for it to stop so i can go to sleep..!!!!!!!!!!!
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x Embrace that feeling Ray....
What to do when made feel worthless by own mother 
Introduction- since i had to introduce myself
The last letter I sent my mother, I can’t take anymore 
How can my mom be so manipulative and toxic? Anyone else with manipulative mother? 
Iam A Failure I aint Sh**
