Lost my best friend

[Growing4031]

My best friend had been supporting me through occasional depression episodes over the past 8 months or so but during this most recent breakdown of my mental health he abruptly told me that I was basically too much for him and wanted to stop seeing me and stop all contact for a few weeks. I can understand his point of view because he has classes he needs to pass and during this episode I’m constantly depressed to the point of being suicidal. But I can’t help feeling really hurt because I feel like he abandoned me when I needed him most. I’m not particularly needy when I feel bad either, I just want to be around someone so I’m not alone and he can study or do whatever. I just don’t know what to do now, I feel so lonely. I’m trying to make plans with other friends instead but we’re not as close as I was to this best friend and I’m afraid of driving another friend away by being too honest about how I’m feeling. Please help, would appreciate any input.

[CindyKatherine]

I am so sorry about this situation. It surely will hurt both of you I suppose. Both of you would wish he could stay but I am glad you said you understand he is getting some exam soon. It will be mentally demanding for you to feel the absence of the one who has been there for you. Also, he probably would be having a tough time missing you and wishing he could handle being around and academics.

Well, I think the situation is not hopeless. Something beautiful does come out of ashes sometimes. I would entreat you to keep the communication going with your friend so that he wouldn't feel like you are angry because he couldn't be around this time, which will display your selfless attribute.

Also, this may be an opportunity to find new coping strategies for depression. After all, it is our feelings and while we need and must make do with the help others render, we are the ones who do the work. Therefore, I will say, keep up the fight for joy and happiness. There are a thousand people who would help. Let this circumstance be your helper and never an hindrance. I am persuaded you can handle this situation i because you are a special being (human) who can.

Also, you may want to give time to meditation on the root of the depression plus what snowdayze suggested above.

Excel😊

[Blueruth]

Your lucky to have someone who cares enough to be honest. It is hard for other people. The best thing you can do for yourself and others is to work with a professional. If you work hard you will be a much better friend to him.

[Call_me_anything]

I've been going through a similar situation right now. I lost a friend and now I feel the same that being too honest drives people away from me

[Dolphin14]

Great advice

❤️🐬

[Dolphin14]

I'm so sorry you are hurting,

I agree with the others. There are many great perspectives here. Bottom line is he needs the space to achieve his goals and you are giving it to him.

I know it doesn't take away your pain. It leaves an empty space there and it hurts.

Try some of the things the others have suggested. Take care of you.

🐬

[allah1]

Yes, I understand so well. Hopefully, he will come back after a few weeks. I think hanging out with others can be so helpful, even if you aren’t as close. It can develop. Don’t be scared of imposing on others. Sounds like you aren’t a lot to deal with at all, just enjoy spending time together. There will be more people to be close to, no matter what.

[Growing4031]

Thank you everyone for your perspective and suggestions, I really appreciate it.

[jrgallagh]

I know your feelings exactly! My wife of 53 years wants a Divorce because of something I did over 40 years ago. She asked to come to my sessions my my Psychiatriatrist so I agreed to ever other visit and she get to "share" with my Shrink privately. Not sure if this is good or bad because "my beloved" told the PhD T have dementia. I don't think I do but that is one more thing to worry about and get depressed & anxious over. maybe forward some relevant material. Does 4031 refer to IRS Code? Good luck!