Best friend?

[Kat63]

I just got off the phone with my best friend, and she was not nearly as supportive as I’d hoped.

For one thing, she doesn’t have an anxiety problem like I do; and for another thing, she’s a strong, independent woman with a successful career. She’s been divorced about 2 years and loves being on her on.

In contrast, I’ve lost 3 jobs in the last 6 years. My long-time partner and I had problems a few years ago and separated; but have recently agreed that I’ll move back in with him and we will try again.

My friend thinks I may be getting back with my man only because I’m unemployed and anxious. But the truth is, I started working towards reconciliation with him almost a year ago - when I felt safe in my job and OK living alone.

My friend just doesn’t get it at all. I’m disappointed.

[jkl5500]

It's really an example of "Rule #1" People who don't suffer from anxiety and depression will NEVER understand what it's like. Not your friends, not your spouse, not your family - nobody. I guess it's not their fault, but it sure doesn't help people like us.

Just cut her some slack right now. Realize that there are some things she will never understand about your illness. Maybe she was blunt with you because she had a bad day at work. Try not to take that call personally.

[Walkathon]

look at the positive in this, she definitely cares enough about you to be concerned that you may be making the wrong decision, which means she has your back

[hypercat54]

Hi don't forget that even strong people without mental health issues also have problems day to day, so it sounds like your friend did too. At least you have a friend to talk to who is generally supportive which is more than many of us do.

My advice is get in touch and ask her if she is ok, and remind her you are there for her anytime. x

[Kat63]

I’m still upset that she just doesn’t get it. It feels like she’s not even *trying* to understand.

I’m also worried about what my father will say when I move back in with my partner. My father (I suspect) wants me to move in with him, find a job in the town where he lives, and live out my life there. But he lives out of state, in a state that I happen to dislike. I’ve lived in my state all my life; I have friends here, I know how life works here. I want to stay here and continue to look for jobs here.

My partner is offering me a chance to 1) reboot our relationship and 2) stay in the place where I’m comfortable.

I haven’t talked with my father about this yet, and I don’t think it would be a good idea. He’s always had a way of insisting that he knows what’s best for me and not caring how I feel about things. At this point, I’m planning to move back in with my partner first, and tell Dad about it after I’ve done it.

I tried to talk to my best friend about my fears and thoughts concerning my dad, and she totally didn’t understand any of this either.

At a time in my life when I feel like everything is being pulled out from under me, my best friend seems to be totally clueless.

[kenster1]

hi I don't mind a friend having an opinion but to say that was a bit much I think.if that's how she views things maybe you should hold back telling her anything in the future.