Hard time connecting/relating to people.

I’ve had a hard time connecting to people for as long as I can remember. Everything and everybody has always felt just so superficial and fake, for lack of a better word.

It’s gotten to the point where *everything* seems so frivolous to me: I’ve always had trouble keeping jobs because they’re all so unfulfilling; I’ve always had trouble staying in school because I never felt that I belonged; I’ve always had trouble keeping friendships because of my own paranoia and self-doubt; therapists have always been unable to help me, and the slurry of medications I took in my teenage years only made me worse so I stopped.

I can see that this mentality is going to lead me down a long and lonely path if I continue, but every time I try to break free from this path, I end up throwing myself back onto it.

Overall, I know that these fears are self made and unfounded, but it’s hard to shake the feeling.

I doubt anybody will even read this, let alone reply to it. I’m not even looking for advice or anything, I just wanted to get it off my chest and throw it into the void.

[Hidden]

The lack of response really proves my point doesn't it? I guess I'm truly alone after all.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Hi New Member...you are never alone on this site.We have to remember that this is a world wide forum, so some may

be sleeping right now, working, having dinner as I was.

Give it time. You are not forgotten..

I think you have a perfect "username" right now. WanderingWondering is exactly

the position you are in. You're young and haven't found yourself yet..Your nitch

per se.

The fact that you have felt like this most of your life can stem from a disorder or a

situation in your life that made you so unbelieving in everything and everyone.

Most therapists do succeed in putting their patients on the right path. However, the

person needs to be ready to take that leap of faith in going forward.

Once we get into a "this didn't work and that didn't work" it doesn't. Our minds are

taught be the words we say to it and before long , we tend to believe it.

Coming onto this support forum today was taking that first step forward.

Meeting others who understand and most of all care will help give you the confidence

you need right now in that not everyone is superficial.

None of us on here are doctors or therapists. But the one thing we have in common is

that We Care because we have all been in the same position. Welcome my friend xx

[Stippler in reply to Hidden]

Welcome to the group! I am sorry you are going through this, and sorry for not replying sooner. I did not see your post until now, but there are lots of good people here. Have you ever read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz? It is a very good book recommended by my therapist. It has helped me with my paranoia and self doubt quite a bit. I hope this helps.

[leaningonjesus]

hi thereyour words hit home

to me

i can 100000% relate

it all seems so surreal, so much of the time

its scary, detaching, and downright strange.

it seems the more i try to get close to the lord, the more detached i feel from this world

i went half mile to the grocery store tonite and felt like i had aliens surrounding me

or that i was an alien and everyone else, normal.

please take a very tiny comfort in knowing........

you are not alone in your thinking and feeling

[Hidden in reply to leaningonjesus]

Thank you for your kind words, your message is especially relatable.

I often times get this same feeling of dissociation when I'm with people. That sudden feeling of being the only one in the room; you can feel your mouth moving and hear the words coming out, but it's like everything is running on autopilot.

I've also been (surprisingly, and contradictingly enough) a very spiritual person most of my life. I feel somehow both more detached, and more connected to people because of my beliefs. But I don't like talking about it much because I have a hard time putting it into words, and it never seems to resonate to many anyway. I offer myself whenever asked of course.

Again, I thank you for your reply

[catsrock]

I can totally relate to this. I too have had lots of trouble committing to jobs, school, etc... It's frustrating as shit. Just wanted you to know you are not alone in this.

[Time2Heal2022]

Hi! I'm new to the site as well and you are not alone! I am always overthinking nonstop which makes having friendships, meaningful friendships so hard. You are young and life is not something you can just figure out overnight. Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself credit for getting up everyday and doing you! You don't have have your life figured out yet. So jump from job to job, find something you love, something you're good at. Put your energy into it.

I agree with Stippler, i just got the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz as well! If you give it time and really try, it can change everything in your life! I'm still working on it myself. But it's def a powerful message.

Hang in there and know you are not alone!!

[blue-green-purple]

Hi WanderingWondering. Love your screen name. It describes my whole life. I relate to everything you said here. It's a very difficult way to go through life. I had times that I seemed to feel like I "belonged" but ultimately never lasted. If you can see a therapist now I highly recommend it. Wish I went sooner. I had issues from childhood that I thought were normal and everyone felt the same. Not true. Wish I had this understanding sooner or the many tools that are available now. At this point in my life, I rely on my spirituality to get me through. Treatment resistant so meds are out for me. Tried just about everything there is. I get easily overwhelmed so I don't come on this site as much as some but do what I can. Good luck to you. Keep posting.

[mentalhealthandme]

Im with you on this! Feels like theres a wall between me and everyone else. I almost feel alien. I dont understand people and they dont understand me. Feels like i just cant be a part of this world

[Hidden in reply to mentalhealthandme]

We are our own walls, and the understanding of others comes from inside that wall, not outside of it. In other words, if we don't understand ourselves, we'll never be able to understand others; if we can't love ourselves, then we can't love others; if we don't hate ourselves, then we can't hate each other.

That's been my thoughts on it at least. It's just up to me to actually do something with that knowledge :/