Hanging by a thread

[BetterMeToday]

My son just had his 13th birthday party and it was a great success. I had terrible anxiety throughout the entire day. I made it through without an actual attack but still cried because of how close I am to a relapse. I’m a recovering alcoholic with three years sober but I don’t know how long I can keep this going. The anxiety and the negative self talk is getting out of control or maybe it’s just wearing me down. I feel like I’m not going to make it but I’m still trying to stay positive. My thoughts are always yelling that I’m ugly inside and out and I’ll never be good enough. That I’ll always be a failure and that my family deserves better. I’m feeling super low even though I’ve survived so much. It’s hard to see the victories when you always feel sad and afraid. I just need some support. I hope everyone is having a fantastic day. I have so much love and appreciation for everyone here. Stay strong and don’t give up

[Theloudone]

Happy birthday to your son! And congratulations on three years! I have 5 months. It’s really hard.

I totally understand what you mean by the negative self talk wearing you down. I am always in my head telling myself the worst things.

You are NOT ugly.

It is hard to see our victories when we are looking for the next thing to criticize ourselves over.

I hope you are able to slow down and appreciate at least 1 thing about yourself

[BetterMeToday in reply to Theloudone]

Thank you 🙏🏽 congratulations on your 5 months. That is huge! I will keep working on appreciating myself but indeed it is hard. Best of luck in your recovery, you got this!

[mrhealthanxiety]

Hi there, firstly well done for getting through the day, yes I’m sure it wasn’t easy but please give yourself credit - you held it together and I’m sure your son had a fantastic party too. Secondly congratulations on being 3 years sober, again that’s a massive achievement and you need to focus on that realise how well you are doing and the self worth you have to go this long - to me as a complete stranger I can see so many positives you have, just stay focused and be carry on doing what you are doing, I can just sense you must be a great dad. Please read your final 6 words on your post ....you have got this buddy.....👍🏻

[BetterMeToday in reply to mrhealthanxiety]

Thank you 🙏🏽 I’m definitely doing my best. I appreciate your kind words. This community is a huge help. I will keep going as long I can.

[Agora1]

Hey my friend, congrats on your 3 year sobriety.. that's big (give yourself credit)

Anyone raising a teenager has the strength and fortitude to handle their anxiety and

negative chatter. With our understanding and support, you will win over this.

You are good enough, you are the best you can be. Now believe in that and run with it.

You've got this. I believe in you and what is possible. xx

[BetterMeToday in reply to Agora1]

Thank you 🙏🏽 my boys are the reason I’m still here. They give me the will and drive to keep fighting. It’s just super hard to keep up that positive attitude while suffering. I appreciate the support. I will keep fighting with all I have, I am just getting really exhausted.

[Agora1 in reply to BetterMeToday]

Fighting our issues is both mentally and physically exhausting for sure.

It's very difficult to maintain a positive attitude if we are constantly fighting the

thoughts and feelings. What if I told you there is another avenue you could take

that would make anxiety run and hide. The word is Acceptance. Accepting the negative

thoughts and anxiety as not harmful. As lies. Our subconscious mind wants to protect us but doesn't know the difference between a lie and the truth. So in reality, our rational

brain needs to come to the rescue.

There is a book as well as free videos on YouTube by Dr. Claire Weekes. "Hope & Help for Your Nerves". This is a world renowned psychiatrist who suffered with severe anxiety and found this theory of Acceptance to be the key to success. It has been the basis for me as well as many others on this site. You have nothing to loose by taking a look but you do have everything to gain.

You took the first step forward with healing by coming on this amazing support forum.

I'm glad you are here with us and wish you nothing but the best. We're only a message

away. Stay true to yourself and stay positive xx

[BetterMeToday in reply to Agora1]

Thanks again! I will absolutely take a look, I appreciate the info. I just read a book called “The Power of Now” and it had some similar views on acceptance. I’ve just started to try and accept the negative thoughts and let them go without identifying with them. To witness the negativity but not attach to them. Sometimes if feel like progress is being made but there’s a lot of highs and lows. Thanks for the support, it’s deeply appreciated.

[Freedom57]

Congratulations on your 3 years of sobriety 🎉

My birthday is 10/13/18

I drank to cover my pain now I’m dealing with life one day at a time...

You can do what you need to do to start loving yourself❤️ I’m on the same journey. Pat yourself on the back for everything you’ve done right! Good job being present & celebrating your child’s 13th birthday, you did this sober, what a gift that was, wow! You put your face on your post, very brave of you. Our thoughts are just thoughts, with practice we can change the negative to positive but it will take a lot of practice to switch to healthier ones.

Thanks for sharing your struggle, you have much strength💐

[BetterMeToday in reply to Freedom57]

Congratulations on your recovery. I’m so grateful that there are people who can relate. Solidarity goes a long way. I truly appreciate your kind words. I will keep practicing gratitude and mindfulness. I have to learn to pat myself on the back. I’m working hard to get through this and I appreciate the support. Everyone here is just so awesome. Thank you 🙏🏽

[Freedom57 in reply to BetterMeToday]

You’re doing a great job! We are making our life’s better each day as we learn new truths about ourselves & let go of the lies we’ve been holding onto for far too many years..Praise yourself for every right choice you make! Super proud of you for living life sober for three years!!!! I’d like to encourage you to listen to Lisa Nichols & Louise Hay on YouTube...keep investing in you because you are so worth it!!!

[BetterMeToday in reply to Freedom57]

Thank you 🙏🏽 I’m really trying my best. I will definitely take a look. Thanks again. I hope you are doing well

[Ladybug9]

First of all, congratulations on your recovery! Secondly, you are very handsome so stop that self hate talk!!! And let us help you!

[BetterMeToday in reply to Ladybug9]

Thank you 🙏🏽 it’s really shocking how much anxiety and depression can talk from you and replace it with doubt to the point you need constant reassurance. I appreciate your kind words and I will take any support I can get. You are very kind thank you and hope you have a blessed day

[Ladybug9 in reply to BetterMeToday]

You are NOT alone!!! Remember that. And you aren't the only one who feels as you do which is why we need each other!!