So I wrote a couple of weeks about about how I had to change medications because my new insurance doesn’t cover the newer antidepressant I’ve been on for the last year or so.
Now I’ve been on Zoloft before. It’s no big deal. I’ve been on better and worse antidepressants but it has the benefit of being entirely covered by my insurance. The issue I’m having with it this time though is that I’m having trouble adjusting to my new normal, even though I know that this is how I’ve felt through large sections of my life.
I’m just so tired and unmotivated. I’m having trouble focusing again. I’m lonely and want to connect but finding time to engage meaningfully with people feels like so much work in my already busy life. I’m not sleeping enough because there doesn’t seem to be any point because I blink and my alarm is going off anyway. Any feeling of rest or relief that I might feel upon waking up is gone almost as soon as it starts.
This describes the vast majority of my life and I’ve always managed just fine. I’ve gotten up, done what I need to do, enjoyed myself for the most part as long as things in life are remotely good for a change and engaged in those meaningful relationships. Why is it so much harder this time just because I got used to sleeping better? Overall my outlook on life is better, things are looking up in at least some ways, and I feel like I should be better than I feel.
Does anyone else have these problems sleeping and have found a solution to it that doesn’t involve your antidepressant or sleeping pills? I’ve tried a number of things over the years and nothing seems to help me get that good sleep I’m missing out on again...