These days were hard. Insane hard

[Against_the_current]

I was overwhelmed, too much socializing and being out, my roommate did a party without warning after i saw dad and sis for my birthday and was already triggered. I went to a friend's birthday and my other roommate called (i didn't even know she was in the city) and scolded me for cleaning. I was crying through the whole party. Called my dad, my stepmother is a friend of my roommate and thought she could talk to her or something, but dad only started critising me "You can't clean. You lack skills. We were too easy on you, didn't teach u to clean? How you clean dust? Wrong! How you clean the sink? Wrong" and "i hate when women just want to call to complain but take no resolution". This hurted.( I was already worried because my therapist told me mom's unreliable, called her, sis answered, i asked If mom's taking good care of her but mom heard and i was scared of her going mad and giving her to dad. I asked dad If mom or sis had called him, he got annoyed and i worried he will stop caring about me. Felt bad i'm not working, supposed to be living life espessially before my internship and university start and i worry). And i went to the room i was staying in for the birthday to get a med and calm down and one of her guests came. I thought he was trying to see If i'm okay but he wanted to take advantage of me being not okay. I went back to the main hall because there are a lot of People and is safer. Later he got in a fight for another girl. Now trying to cope with my roommates, worried i couldn't chill before my internship, worried about dad, worried about my therapist, worried about my future, my roommate playing loud music.

I talked with my psychiatrist, he said, it's anxiety and he won't prescribe me more meds. I also can't take them in this state. And i don't have much money. Worried dad is giving me less. And my sister has a nameday and i can't afford the gift i wanted to buy her.

Also everyone giving weird advice and it overwhelms me. I'm tired

It s a lot

Thanks for reading

[Blunderbuss_bumpkin]

That sounds really tough and I can tell how hard it must have been but you should be proud of yourself for managing. I know how easy it can be to underplay your situation and your state but the truth is that it seems like you are handling your struggles much better than most other people would were they in your position. You're staying on top of it and not letting it overpower you and that is the most important thing. The bottom line is that all you NEED to do is just exist. You're doing great just hang in there!

[Against_the_current in reply to Blunderbuss_bumpkin]

Thank you so much! I'm so happy my efforts and strenght are being recognized, i really needed this

[Itzallgood1]

Your roommates isn't very nice to you. Can't believe they complained after you made an effort to clean. Im so sorry people are treating you horribly. They aren't very mature people to be upsetting someone all the time. I know it would be hard to move out but maybe you could get help from the school to help your situation? I wish things could be easier for you.🌷

[Against_the_current in reply to Itzallgood1]

Thanks. I'm actually on a normal accomodation, not from school and i can't talk with nobody. Could to dad only because stepmother is a friend with my roommate but he reacted that way

[Against_the_current]

Thanks for wondering how i am. I'm through a lot and i understand

[Against_the_current]

I'm sorry. Hope you feel better soon. Don't worry about me, just rest

[Against_the_current]

Thank you! Hope you feel better soon

[Against_the_current]

Glad to hear you feel better. My anxiety has also been on critical these days