How do you know what’s normal?

[Shomacco]

I’m posting here as a safe place. I know how my questions sound and there is nothing illegal, etc. going on. No one’s getting hurt or anything.

How do you know what’s normal behavior if it is not something anyone talks about?

I know there is a line that can be crossed, but if no one that I know of talks about it how do you know where that line is? How do I find out where I’m at on the bell curve.

I mean I don’t think I’m extreme, but that’s the pot calling the kettle black right?

I don’t feel safe asking anyone.

I’m not sure where to turn to. With my current life trajectory I can’t think anymore. 😔

[Shomacco]

My guts have been saying no for some time. I can’t seem to find the strength. Given that,I just don’t know how to stop. So I really don’t know what I’m asking here.

[Daesin]

I don’t like the word normal. But I will go with others like typical or helpful.

Does this behavior help me?

Will it improve my health or happiness?

Is this Socially acceptable?

Or is it mal-adaptive?

Can this hurt me physically or psychologically?

Does it hurt others?

Could I be arrested?

Could I be socially shunned?

Those,I think, are much better questions.

Without specifics and an understanding of your social customs and status it’s hard to say except in general terms.

[TrustYourSoul]

You said, "I just don't know how to stop." It's a challenge to get peer help if nobody knows What it is that you can't "stop".

[Shomacco in reply to TrustYourSoul]

Yes I know. I just haven’t found a safe place to ask. Maybe that’s my next step.

[Balloffur2468]

I’m not entirely sure what you mean but if you are that worried to ask then it probably isn’t a good idea

[Midori]

I understand that! I often self- censor myself.

I think that the answer is nobody really knows; it depends who you are talking with, we are all different in what we find OK and what we find offensive.

There are some things which aren't talked about in polite company, such as porn, and things of a sexual nature, especially if it involves children.

But in general, you have to sound out your listeners, subtly, to find out what the group would understand, and what not.

I'm an old lady, but I can cuss like a sailor, and I'm not the normal run of the mill granny!

I just have to be ultra polite, until I can guage the feelings of the group around.

I hope you can find your answers.

Cheers, Midori

[Skjones]

Honestly I think the line of normal is if you intend to harm yourself or others, or commit what is a standard moral "crime" and I'm not talking about the 10 commandments the one that comes with common sense then that's the line other than that normal is a term people who don't suffer from mental illness don't understand what normal is I think normal is what you classify your own base line however if tour having intrusive thoughts of things that you know are not i.e harming or sexualy assaulting or what not you may want to seek a diagnosis of seeing if you may have ocd

[Skjones]

Also normal is a subjective term

[designguy]

Sounds like you might benefit from finding a therapist to talk to. It can be comforting to get feedback from someone and worth the effort.