Hi to all the fighters in this amazing group! My name is Katherine, I just joined cuz I don't know where to turn and in every way I tried to tell people how tough it is, I don't think they get it if they've never gotten it, then it just made me mad when they ask me to exercise.
I've been living with depression and anxiety for 5 years. I've tried literally every medication apart from MAOIs, TMS made me feel alive and 'normal' for a while then stopped working, Esketamine made me feel worse so I had to stop it. I also bought self-help books to try to alter my mindset from a downward spiral to positive thinking, it ain't helping... I really think I've tried my best, now beginning to lose the remaining hope and felt like it's going to be like this forever. Lucky me, every major depression episode hits me at crucial life turning point. This time, I must get a job before October to maintain a Visa to stay in America. But for months, I can't fix my resume and didn't send out even one job application. I stopped feeding myself and cleaning my house. I can't kill myself cuz that'll basically kill my parents, but I don't see a way out of this pain and suffering, if anyone out there made it please please tell me how you did it.