Should I?

[Needtovent]

So my 73 y,o. older sis may very well be discharged while I’m on vacation (serious leg injury, in rehab, lives alone). Sibs are all concerned, trying to help with getting apt ready, etc but none of us are prepared for full time care. I’ve reiterated this several times to rehab team. I insisted on a home eval to see if she will be safe, biggest issue is her front stairs and she’s just barely begun trying stairs in her rehab sessions. Eval is Thursday with tentative d/c on Friday.

Tomorrow I’m having my husband put in a window AC. She has none. Then we leave Wed. Do I make one last call to facility to reiterate our concern that we will not be there 24/7 or let things play out with other sibs. At least 2 will be present for the home eval.

Once again ruminating over worse case scenarios, wide awake when I should be sleeping, have lost weight cause I can’t eat.

[blackcat64013]

Hi,You are struggling so hard to stay in control of the situation. 🤔 This one of those times to let go and let your other family members step up for your sister.Look into your anxiety self help tool box to find some ways that have helped you to relax in the past.

If, as a result of your anxiety, you can't eat, find some protein shakes to drink. They are good for short term meal replacement use.

Take some ME 💜TIME. Go away and look forward to visiting your sister after you get back. The world won't cave in while you are gone.

[Needtovent in reply to blackcat64013]

You are so right about the control thing. In this case my sister (currently disabled) is in control. Nonetheless I called the case manager and re-expressed mine and siblings concerns about coming home to soon. I told my sister as well, she is declining a chance to be transferred to the next level facility where she could rehab a bit longer. The method of getting up and down stairs sounds dangerous to me. Well I’ve spoken my mind and told her I will not assist if I feel it is dangerous to her or one of us, once I see it done. I’ll be away for the first attempts but the other sibs are all pitching in. Can’t do anymore. I’m going on my trip and will do my best to enjoy. PS I got my scripts filled and had a therapy intake with first appt scheduled. That is taking control of ME!

[Blueruth]

Let it play out. She lives alone. Is she unable to advocate for herself? If not than assisted living is appropriate? Is the state or insurance able to provide some level of in home care (even just looking in on her). What about meals on wheels or a paid version of that. My parents had a service that has followed them all the way to hospice because we do not live there(and would be bad at it). Not cheap but the point is options exist. The hospital should have a patient advocate even if it isn’t well advertised.

You know my cousin had a mother who just wore her down. After 50 years and a family of her own she decided to let the system take over and let it be. Living with her would have just destroyed her family. The state has a system in place. She had an independent living apartment paid for by the state. My cousin did not avoid her mother. She was there as a daughter not a caregiver. She just needed her life. You strike me as in the same position.

[Blueruth]

Idk if it is a done deal but there are standalone ac units that you could move. That might be easier and more flexible.

[DodgeDhanda]

Hi NTV.

You can write a letter & leave it in a place where the evaluators can read it or as suggested time for others to step up & they can pass on ur letter , giving all your concerns & it's also a good sign to the evaluators that different family members are able to help & it's not on 1 pair of shoulders only .