Help what should I do : Hello, I'm very... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Help what should I do

Teresaq
Teresaq

Hello, I'm very stressed and not sure what to do. My oldest sister 70yrs old lost her job and home, she trying so hard to find a place to live but living in Southern California its very very expensive for senior citizen. My children and I are home all day. Which I have full house really no space. I've been thinking about purchasing shed and converting it into a she shed having her living in it but she'll be inside my home hanging out with my family till she can find a home. She doesn't want to impose, and i think about it all the time, my only fear are nosey neighbors. I need advice what should I do?

9 Replies
oldestnewest

Sounds ideal for the children and hopefully a blessing for her. Heck with the neighbors. They will probably be jealous they are not close to their family to help them. You just never know people's stories.

Was thinking about making a she shed in my back yard as an office when I finally give up my office and have any money to do so. With a whole back wall full of books and glass on two walls, large desk and wonderful chairs to conduct business. Now just need the money and permits some day. Good luck in your decision. think you are a wonderful sister.

Teresaq
Teresaq in reply to socratesanne

Yes I agree, I just don't want drama from city. Their always trying to find a way to cite people. Time are hard, housing is crazy im blessed with a wonderful family and hard working husband. But family first. I checked with city and I can have she shed, has long has I dont go over the size thats with out a permit 120 sq feet. But I worry not for living. That were im stuck.

socratesanne
socratesanne in reply to Teresaq

Think setting boundaries up front regarding keeping the children and family as main goal and assure she understands before you solidify anything.

Have you checked on tiny houses with hopefully their own kitchen and bath? Or have that put in the she shed. I know how complicated that might be or to look around before to see if there is an apartment or section 8 housing for her.

Also check local newspapers if there is roommate situation for her to live with someone who needs a roommate and a little companionship. Look in the want ads in local newspaper rather than going through the internet or perhaps a local senior center who might know of someone who needs a friend to live with if alone.

You probably already thought of this but just in case thought I would mention alternatives. Local senior centers can be affective in your area I would imagine. Could she handle being a nanny just to watch children. Is she is ill or not mobile? What was her job if that is not too personal or is she needing to be out to pasture as they say. That age is still young and she can do something wondrous with her new life if you all put your heads together. Does not have to be in the area, perhaps someone out in the country or traveling distance to a suburb where she might find a new life for herself.

Teresaq
Teresaq in reply to socratesanne

I checked in all those options, unfortunately she does have an illness and wishes to retire. Housing in and around near by city are ridiculous $1400 for studio and up, 1 bed $2000 up $3600 very sad.

Single bedroom $950 up to $1200 for room. Maybe I'll take a change its not for profit just helping her be happy. I don't know. She's on waiting list for housing 8 to 10 yr list. Im just worried, stressed. Thanks for you help I appreciate it.

socratesanne
socratesanne in reply to Teresaq

Have her call periodically, as even if on a waiting list, they go usually go down that list and if not one answers the might go up on the list, I have been told. You can imagine how this might be truer even though there is a huge list. they need to fulfill their calls and feels like a gamble but I will cross my fingers. Wish you success. Did you look into senior centers with their social worker for her needs?

Teresaq
Teresaq in reply to socratesanne

Hi, I've call many places senior living housing. I'm told that once senior receives a unit they stay still they die. Very sad.

I'm trying to help her to succeed move forward even if its a short time. Im sure God will open the doors one day. Its just insane how housing so unaffordable to many individuals.

I help with nonprofit to seniors for food boxes so I hear alot from our clients. I volunteer so I understand.

I also a full time cancer patient but I'm not letting that kill me so I'm pushing.

God bless you, wish you healthy and wonderful peaceful life 🙏

socratesanne
socratesanne in reply to Teresaq

Are there senior centers in your area as they are more mobile folks and often times have a social worker available who helps those who belong to the center. We had all sorts of fun activities to give the client hope and build friendships. They often have all sorts of things to keep her more mobile out of the home and give you a break.

Have been a certified geriatric mental health specialist most of my career and know how hard it must be now with this pandemic to get someone help. Sorry, just a bad time to be homeless and out of work.

God speed to a solution. Keep your attuning to those you volunteer to help. I am sure something will come up, maybe a gal who you sister would find a great friend to share her life with. I think old folks are looking for commonality and friendship besides a home.

When I said to call often, it was to help her get this section 8 housing despite the list. Yes it can be a form of isolation, but not if she has a senior center group where she can go. the library also has many ideas and help for seniors, even special classes or fun activities to keep her be more mobile. If she has hearing problems or eye site they can delivery audio books to help or Braille should she need to learn or books with enlarged print.

socratesanne
socratesanne in reply to Teresaq

BTW, I am so sorry your are going through your own recovery. Wishing you well and peace of mind. It is hard when you have so much on your plate. Keep opening up when you need and people on here can help you in your time of need.

Teresaq
Teresaq in reply to socratesanne

Thank you, yes one day at a time for me. There is a reason God still has me here. Be safe

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