what do you believe

[Starrlight]

if we worry much about something happening in the future are we making it happen whereas if we did not think and expect that thing to happen it wouldn’t? Or does our thinking cause no reaction and things will be as they were meant to be no matter what we think about?

[Needtovent]

There is alot out there regarding ‘self fulfilling prophecy’. It happens at times, yes. Primarily when the ‘thinker’ also makes other decisions or takes other actions (perhaps unconsciously) that contribute. So this is a good post to get folks to be mindful of their overall behavior.

However I don’t think that NOT thinking (or in most of our cases, worrying) will prevent something from happening. So for us - we have to focus on symptoms management.

[Midori]

Personally, unless we are going out deliberately trying to bring about a change by gossiping, or something similar, then no, things will be as they are meant to be. Your thoughts will have no bearing on it.

Cheers, Midori

[Starrlight in reply to Midori]

That’s what I tend to think. Thanks Midori

[Arymretep in reply to Midori]

I agree, it’s fate 👍

[EndUser13]

I think we have the ability to make self-fulfilling prophecies come to pass by worrying. Yesterday I had a rough panic attack, I kept worrying about stupid little things, got freaked out, hyperventilated, and felt worse until I reminded myself to slow my breathing and try to block out all the negativity.

Some things in life are inevitable, sure and there are things outside of our control but ultimately we are the ones who choose how to react to any given situation. This being said, sometimes it's hard to react in a healthy way to some things.

[Starrlight in reply to EndUser13]

Yes! It’s so hard. My heart is beating so fast and I feel like I can barely breathe. Things that seemed fine are fine but it seems the opposite

[EndUser13 in reply to Starrlight]

I hear you, I have some bad habits like constantly checking my heart rate or worrying about little things until they seem insurmountable.

I think the best thing to do in moments of high stress is to try to slow down, focus on one thing at a time and reassure yourself that you are in fact breathing. This will pass. You're safe... etc and then try to find a distraction that isn't overwhelming.

I know it can be amazingly difficult, I'm sorry you feel this way 😞

[Blueruth]

Our thinking can totally influence the outcome. If you come to work or to a date thinking everyone doesn't like you you probably aren't going to be pleasant and if they did like you it is hard to like you if you aren't pleasant. Go to a party and be a wallflower because you think nobody will talk to you? Nobody will talk to you because you are a wallflower! If you think you can't ever make your rent you might blow your money on stupid stuff to self medicate which then causes you to miss rent (believe me...been there... budgeting is freeing). I could go on and on with examples.

Perhaps the hardest is when you want to change but you think you can't so defeat yourself which a guarantee for failure. You change a habit by not getting down on yourself and beginning again, and again. You have to believe you can despite failing.

It isn't some magic, spiritualism or fate of the universe. Some things happen that we cannot control. But we all have a circle surrounding ourselves that we influence for good or bad. up to you.

[Blueruth]

Coincidentally this came out yesterday. I think you’ll find it addresses your question. hiddenbrain.org/podcast/ref...

[fromzerotopanic]

I frequently worry that just because I think something, it will happen! I might think something scary that could happen, then dwell on it. At that point, I’ve spent so much time worrying it might happen that I’m convinced it will. But someone told me to “think” I will win the lottery, then sit back and wait for it to happen! When it doesn’t, you realize that just because you think/worry something, doesn’t make it true! A worry is just a thought you allowed to settle into your mind instead of just floating away like the thousands of thoughts we have daily! But, on the other hand, technically, worry could impact future events (that’s different than causing them in my opinion!). You might worry you’ll lose your job/get sick etc. You worry, and don’t sleep well. Now you’re tired, run down. Stomach is upset, you can’t eat properly. You get sick, miss work. You worry missing work will cause you to lose your job… the vicious cycle begins! And you lose your job! But you didn’t lose your job because you had the initial thought/worry you might lose it. Does that make sense?!

[Hidden]

I think it depends on the situation. For minor things such as being afraid of making a poor first impression you could worry yourself into being a wreck and then end up making a poor impression. It's like having anxiety about a test which makes you not sleep the night before so you are tired and irritable and then do poorly on your test because of that. Those things can occur because anxiety messes with our ability to think clearly at times. However, for major things and events I don't think this is the case. I don't think that if say your parent was an addict that you will then end up being an addict simply because you are afraid of it. Same thing with things like say getting hit by a car. Or dying at a young age. Sorry if that is triggering. I mean that bigger things in our lives won't really be made into a reality just because we are worried about them. It takes a combination of factors not just worry. Some people out there with OCD have these constant obsessive intrusive thoughts but they don't end up becoming those bad things. But I think in some areas you can make your own bad luck by not trying for something because you are afraid or don't believe in your abilities. Stuff like that can cause lack of opportunity and so on. So in some ways yes in someway no.

Now as for not thinking about those things. Well we need to have a plan. I mean maybe you could get lucky and have one or two people just walk around randomly and do random things and end up having a great life. But for the majority of us that won't ever happen. Oddly enough, the only way to really increase ones luck is to actually believe that you can change the outcomes so putting yourself out there more and trying to find more opportunities. It's not a guarantee that you will get anything. You are never guaranteed anything in this life. But the more opportunities there are the more likely you are to get something good going. It's like if you applied to 10 jobs vs 100. You are much more likely to get a job offer out of the 100 jobs rather than just the 10. So by thinking and putting effort into things we can actually make a difference. So no things don't just fall into place. We have to put effort in. And again, nothing is ever guaranteed. Even with all the effort in the world. But it does actually increase the likelihood of things working out. Which is better than doing nothing and hoping things work out for the best.

[Allanconroy]

I can't hel thinking about things since my opp every day snapped at my wife yesterday went in to toilet and took some deep breaths to get rid of my (not so good thoughts) and my wife is great sometimes I just feel like running away don't what for just feel like having a valve all the meds is to much for me and my wife

[Mrspjsmom]

I belive everything happens for a reason and our lives unfold the way they are meant to. That doesn't mean I wish I could change some things in the past or never worry about the future but I don't think any of those things would make a difference. My life both good and bad is what it was meant to be.

[PassingTheDuckTest]

We have control over future events only where they involve our own actions. Even then we can't control everything. I am old and have learned to roll with it. I don't believe anything. I know a lot, and there are many more things I don't know. I stopped trying to fool myself into thinking I knew why things happen long ago.

[Allanconroy in reply to PassingTheDuckTest]

That's a great way of thinking wish I could think like that 👍