Tired of living like this! There has to be a better way!

[Bookmama20]

I am so tired of living like this. Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, childhood neglect. I feel totally stupid and useless today! I really do!

Earlier this morning I tried to do a good deed, see a friend to drop off a gift. In the process I nailed a curb, to the point where my car, our only car is on it’s way to a body shop. I didn’t see the curb, it’s almost like I was in a fog. I have been experiencing that more and more lately. I got potholes, curbs, when contact is made it’s like I snap out of it! I find myself not remembering the drive, or I am on autopilot, and realize I am going the wrong direction or on ramp. It’s starting to freak me out a bit! Anyone else experience this?

I’m under a lot of stress, I dislike my job. The drama around it and a few people. I hate going in to work. I drive 30 min into the next state for work. Trying to find a remote job or one closer to me. I don’t like even leaving my house!

I need to do a deep clean of my house, but it is so overwhelming that I work myself up BDB give up and nap instead. I am just really not a fan of myself lately! I feel like I am just spinning like a top out of control. Everywhere and nowhere at the same time. I wish I had my shot together for once!

I am doing counseling, and I have a psych nurse for meds. I just am feeling very, very lost right now! Sorry to dump all this out, not even sure it makes sense. It is days like today that I wish I didn’t exist! That I feel like a complete failure and a complete burden to everyone.

[Hidden]

I'm glad you exist. I'm on here too so I might understand in some way. I appreciate how well you explained your feelings and the honesty that came through, I felt. I don't know what to say exactly but I am glad you are here, Bookmama20.

[Bookmama20 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! I really appreciate you kind words!

[Bill181]

Dnt say that you are a special person

[Midori]

It would be a good idea to see your Doctor , in order to rule out anything nasty. It sound rather like depression and anxiety to me.

The housework is the first to go when I get stressed, but I can't drive due to failing sight.

Don't know what your weather id like but we are in a heatwave right now and it's making most of us feel unwell. I also have a thunder headache.

Treat your self gently.

Cheers, midori