2020 has to be better.

[Coloradowalker]

So... I had an amazing day yesterday. Zero anxiety , great mood, had a good day at work and nice time with family. I was excited for Christmas. Literally excited for the first time in a long time. Woke this morning with the usual “what am I going to feel like today” and immediately felt anxious. Can’t tell you how pissed I am for how much anxiety has taken from me. I want to be present, to feel calm, to enjoy my daughters and my husband and my father visiting but I’m outside on the deck in a winter coat ruminating about how I feel. And if I’m really honest with myself, I know that my coping skills are not healthy. I just can’t seem to get out of this funk. Prior episodes have lasted 6 months and I’m at 5 months. Just hoping to be myself again soon. Life is too short for this BS. Friends and family aren’t really able to relate. I know all of you can and for that I am forever grateful. ❤️❤️

[Hidden]

I had a good day today, i said to my husband what a lovely day iv had, no pressure comfortable lunch with my in-laws. Then when i came home I could feel a little anxiety starting to flow within my .. agitated, little sad feelings ... more like i hid it well when i was out .. from experience and practice .. then when i got home i felt safer and the previous anxiety began to rise its ugly head again.

I was told by a professional that our anxiety is there to help us .. it keeps us alert in which to protect ourselves .. but it overprotects us .. which causes an overflow of adrenalin ... hence vile feelings physically and mentally.

[staggent]

It seems like that always happens with me. But my good times are generally just part of the day. I think the medication is helping sometimes and it probably is, but then soon after I feel depressed again. I guess I probably have lousy coping skills too. It always seems to me if I had a spouse and a family I would have a lot less to be depressed about, but who knows? Obviously people still suffer with it even though they have a good support system

[Coloradowalker in reply to staggent]

Yes, anxiety doesn’t discriminate. Sometimes I think it makes it harder because I have no reason to feel this way and yet I do. There is a lot of guilt that comes with this.

[Hidden in reply to staggent]

I now have a good support .. but it still lingers ! it’s more to do with me as a person rather than my surrounding relationships ...inner demons ... nothing can take away them only myself .. majority of time i protect my family from my bad days .. because i don’t want my condition to effect or worry them.. therefore, sometimes you can be under more pressure protecting them rather than concentrating on my self to get in a better place in my mind

[Coloradowalker in reply to Hidden]

It does take a lot of energy to protect the ones who love you from seeing you in pain. My hope is that we become stronger because of this.

[Browneyes921]

I’m sorry you are feeling so anxious. Sending you hugs.

[Sunnidayz1]

2020 will only be better if YOU make it better. Great things happen to those who put the work in. You can do it. Good luck to you on your wellness journey. Sounds like u r doing a great job!

[dom410]

That's awesome