I'm scared of losing him

[Haeften]

Hello everyone! I'm not really sure how to begin, this is my first time sharing my problems online... To start off, I've been struggling with anxiety and most likely fear of abandonment. My last ex cheated on me and since then I have problems trusting men. Approximately two months ago I met this guy. We've been texting each other a lot and went on 2 dates. The first one went well, the second one not that well. I then asked him about his thoughts and feelings and he said he's not sure yet. But we've still been texting, having fun conversations... However since then I'm always scared to text him first, I'm also scared whenever his texting pattern changes, when he doesn't text me that much etc, so usually he "has" to text first. Another date should be happening this weekend though, but I feel like his texts are... Quite dry? He keeps assuring me that nothing is wrong though. I don't know what to do. Texting him more makes me feel like I'm annoying him, not texting at all makes it seem like I'm not interested. I don't want to seem like I'm forcing things, but I'm so scared of losing him that I constantly seek reassurance and attention. Does anyone have any tips on what to do? Hope this whole post makes sense haha.

[Hidden]

I think you need to ease up & just be yourself, flaws & all the good. Enjoy yourself, let the true you come shining thru!

[pamb67]

You should always trust your gut instincts and if something doesn't feel right about this guy then listen to it ..... work on yourself before you get into a relationship and then you will meet the right person for you but love yourself first 💜💜💜

[Hidden in reply to pamb67]

I’m with ya, pamb67, on the gut feeling. We are animals. Gut feelings are instinctive & natural. Sometimes it’s all I got

[pamb67 in reply to Hidden]

Thankyou ☺ nice reply from you 💙

[compasnet]

Haeften, it sounds to me like perhaps you're overthrowing what's going on...if I do this he'll think that. If I do that, he'll think this, etc., etc., etc. ...sounds like whoever is with you should feel privileged, and double thanking about what your behavior will be viewed as rather than saying to yourself and all of those who are fortunate enough to be your friends Hey, I'm really proud of who I am and what I offer regardless of when I sat it, and regardless of what my text messages may "look like" or not "look like". ...just a thought.

[Hidden]

I would say forget texting, see if you can actually talk on the phone to each other. If he doesn’t want to, then I don’t think he’s that interested.

[Midori]

Don't pin all your hopes on one guy, please! You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the prince! Take your foot off the pedal for a bit and let things either develop or wither. Don't push it.

there are lots of men out there, some are good, some less so, Be careful.

Cheers, Midori

[Haeften]

Thank you all for your kind messages 💛 I'm gonna try my best not to push things and not to stress about it that much. In the end that's all I can do I guess - what's meant to be will be!