So i was minding my business, gaming, feeling okay and mom called. I couldn't hear anything and i Ended the call and called again. Then again. Mom didn't pick up. I paniced. Then she called me and complained a lot, said sis is sick and dad made her look after the baby (grandpa had a birthday on 1st July and gathered them). I'm scared they made her sick and are gonna turn her into a traumatized being like me. I desided to go to my therapist because i owed her money for our last session when i was broke. I cried in the bus and rushed to the door and the old people there were like "it's not even the stop". In front of me was standing an old man with a woman and i was so mad, feeling like it's my father and stepmother. I felt like the rest of old ppl were judging me, thinking i'm insane. I can't play a damn game.
I rushed to my therapist hoping she could give me a minute when i'm giving her the money. I waited outside to not interrupt the session. Then she came out, took me out and was rude and like "should i call the ambulance". And i was like what are they gonna do hit me 2 shots of diazepams in the butt like the Last time. Doesn't work. Nobody wanted to hang out with me, nobody supported on text. 1 tried but said "hopefully she won't" which means my sister probably will get traumatized. I had a long walk, bought a can of iced tea. Saw babies and couples out the supermarket and started crying and self-harmed with the can. First time self-harming. First i felt so much agression towards them but can't take it on them so i take it on myself. Second as a cry for help, hoping someone would see the bruise on my wrist, ask what's wrong and comfort me.
Family is picking me up friday. I won't let anyone approach my sister 😭. Or i will cause i'm weak and scared 😭
My therapist told me to call her at evening, i called her now and she said she's gone to bed. I messed upppp 😭
My family loves to gossip and talk **** about me and I'm sick of it 
