I went to an irl group therapy today and it was so awkward. The levels of cringe were cosmic 😅. The moment the therapist tells me to look ppl at the eyes, i lose desire to even look at them. And worse it's expensive. And i wasn't bringing enough and got even more awkward. I expected it to be less. I overthinked that because i missed thursday normal therapy, went now, spent money, got anxious, blame myself it's because of thursday, got awkward to ppl there, ppl i told, my therapist and probably now my therapist thinks i'm too socially anxious and will want to work on it instead on my main anxiety. I'm not so bad, when i was volunteering i was giving presentations. Just in a bad period rn. On the other hand it's new experience and probably i'm just anxious and it's not such a casastrophe.
Mom called me. (Yeah, i know, i make it the time of doom). And said sis is home. I'm confused. What is going on there? I can't ask directly in order not to trigger others n myself but i'm worried. Firstable i didn't want sis at dad's house, then i got okay with it because dad n sis need to spend time with each other and i'm so sad, and now she probably didn't go. I spent so much time worrying she will go there, made peace with it and now she probably isn't there. What if she's alone, dad's offended she's not with him, and she's making parties or something at home?
Feeling hopeless about life
