I don't know what is going on home. Mom should have gone on that work trip. Maybe she left sis at dad (most definetely). I'm scared sis is there getting traumatized. I'm scared mom might meet someone at the trip. I have been writing my exam task, i had to write 20 pages on Law psychology for Tommorrow 9am EEST. I didn't call mom, dad or sis because i would panic and not write anything. I was texting sis but it was like sending memes and texted dad but it was about grandpa because i'm worried about him and his health, trying to text mom now but just saying i found a great deal on some stuff. Had nightmares about grandpa and called him, only him, and heard him coughing and got scared. Besides my sister he's the only normal in this family, dad said he didn't hear him cough. My stomache hurts. I have acids from anxiety and the pizza that i used to stimulate myself to write. Going insane and having 20 pages on Law. Insane. Wrote them now. And i told myself i won't call any family because If i do, i will fail. But still i feel bad and anxious because i don't know what is going on there. I escaped. Here it's much better for me. But i'm scared what will be the situation i get home.
P. S. Still mad at myself that i missed my new therapy that is here for my old therapy that is on the phone and is making me feel worse. Litterary after it yesterday i lost it. And my therapist is posssesive over me and doesn't let me go. I got worse. And still scared of running out of money. But most scared of what is going on home 😭