Tired of suffering though today wasn’t horrible

[Adamj]

I’m so over suffering I don’t know really how to get myself out of this though I did at least start going for little drives again today wasn’t a horrible day but I keep getting those sensations of being scared weird sensations throughout my body and chest just so over it. I finally sucked it up last night and took half an Hydroxyzine so 25mg it helped me get some sleep though I did wake up a couple times. So tired of the feelings that I think there’s stuff wrong with me I know our mind is a powerful thing and can convince us of anything especially negative thoughts. It’s just so hard when I don’t see a future for me like 15 year old me never thought I’d make it to 22 so now that I’m here unemployed sit/lay at home all day and can’t seem to shake the anxious stressed thoughts and body sensations I just live day to day minute to minute. And of course on top of me trying to figure my shit out and try and get better now that I’m in one of the darkest times I’ve been in a while my mom has been diagnosed with bad breast cancer that’s possibly in other parts of her body she tries talking to me about it but I’m so numb from being in survival mode I don’t really react because I don’t know what to say. It’s horrible but I want to focus so much on myself because of trying to take care/be there for everyone else growing up. I’ve tried medicine and I honestly don’t think my issue is a serotonin issue. My therapist hasn’t been helping me much tbh I want someone to talk to and get shit off my chest but sometimes she just says it’s just anxiety Over and over. My brain does well by asking questions and getting answers though im having issues getting it through my head that I can get through this. I really want to try Buspar again to see if it works better than Paxil buspar mostly only caused dizziness the first two hours in the morning then it started making me aggressive but I think that may had to do with the stress

[Survivor1687]

Hang in there ((hugs))

[Lve2dance]

I'm so sorry about your mom.. And that you are having a miscommunication with your therapist... I love mine but sometimes I have to redirect her 😁

[ircam2112]

What are your main symptoms Adamj?

[Adamj in reply to ircam2112]

If you go to my page and look at my posts you can see my symptoms