went to the doctors today

[Adamj]

did some more blood work which of course came back normal. My white blood count fluctuates so much which they don’t say anything about. Also waiting for ANA blood test to come back. He listened to my heart for like a minute and of course it sounded good and was beating fine. Like Idk anymore maybe I really am just making shit up even though I do feel real things. I’m tired of being so aware of my body and now have developed a fear of my own body and sensations. My body constantly feels different things keep switching up it’s frustrating I just want to be normal.

[Stippler]

So sorry you are still having to go through this. It must be very frustrating to feel so bad and have everybody say you shouldn't all the time. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Adamj in reply to Stippler]

thank you! I do love when people are like basically just get over it even when the sensations and everything are very real. I just feel like I’m shutting down fully because I’m so frustrated sad stressed overwhelmed by it all

[Adamj]

I do know I have health anxiety and anxiety but like I’ve never felt so bad in my life it all feels so foreign to me

[Adamj]

I’m just stuck I guess like my body really freaks me out I wish I was able to go do a sport I use to play soccer as a kid and miss it dearly but I’m so out of shape now

[padfoot24]

I'm sorry you're experiencing this. I understand it must be frustrating to be experiencing upsetting sensations and not having medical professionals be able to tell what is going on. I hope these feelings and sensations start to ebb and you can have an easier time. Even though you are having these experiences, it does not mean you aren't "normal." You are human just like anyone else, and what you are feeling is valid and should be seen by others as such. You will get through this! I believe in you.

[Adamj in reply to padfoot24]

thank you!

[aequitas1983]

Health anxiety is one of the hardest things to break out of because even when you receive the "all clear", it seems temporary because the sensations come back and you're second guessing the diagnosis. It is definitely frustrating. I hope none of my comments on your prior posts were in the area of just get over it. We all know and have been there to be aware that just getting over it doesn't work or help.

You definitely are not making all of these things up. They occur all the time and you're noticing them now. The key, I think, is desensitizing yourself when they occur. Changing your reactions from anxiousness to something else. Whether that's curious exploration or otherwise.

Our bodies are amazingly assembled and can handle quite a bit. Homeostasis is the body's primary desire and likely what you're feeling. This is the body's desire to return to an equilibrium. I definitely believe you're feeling and noticing every bit of that.....and it can feel pretty terrifying. Things like heart rate, palpitations, dissociation, feeling lightheaded, and everything you've mentioned are very uncomfortable.

If they're showing you all clear, I would get back to your therapist to work on activities/methods that help distract your mind from focusing on the sensations. Something even further than deep breathing.....because breathing will return your focus to the body. Or they can work with you using methods like an exposure therapy where you gently explore these sensations with someone right there to help guide you to see that you are okay. It would also be a great idea to visit your doctor to follow up on your health anxiety and just general day to day anxiety. A medication that's low on side effects that doesn't multiply your worry and your body's sensations. Maybe even explaining what sensations you're feeling. There might be medications that can help with things like digestion (I use Gas-Ex when I know a meal will cause bloating...which makes me diaphragm feel uncomfortable....which makes my breathing uncomfortable). A medication like a beta blocker might help with the racing heart feeling you get after a meal. Pair the talk therapy with your doctor's diagnosis hand in hand and I think you'll get yourself centered.

If everything is showing you well, it might be embracing this normal as much as that sounds like it's bad. But it's not. One of my guided meditations focuses on the narrator preaching that one shouldn't focus so much on how one SHOULD feel but rather how they do feel. I interpret this positively into something simpler: ideally I would love to feel anxiety free, but I'm not and that's okay....so let's get back to normal healthy anxious me. If we continue to focus on an ideal "normal", we may never think we're okay. This advice is more for the mind and less about saying "get over it". Keep looking after yourself and best wishes going forward. I hope you're able to feel like yourself again!

[Adamj in reply to aequitas1983]

I hope to one day get back to feeling like myself today I feel kind of okay weird feeling. I’m just so frustrated having to go through something so intense. I went through something similar when I was 16-17 6 years ago and it wasn’t nearly as intense or horrible feeling and didn’t have the sense of constantly feeling like I was about to die and I use to actually have calm moments this all is just scary I try and distract myself but then I still notice weird things in my body it’s frustrating being so aware of the body. And I didn’t think you were telling me to just get over it hell I thought it was nice you took time to reply multiple times

[Hidden]

Remember if you start to “body” listen...you begin a feedback loop that just gets more and more focussed on what sensations you produce.

Most of your bodily functions run automatically...which means you donot need to consciously control them, digestion, breaths, heartbeat, temperature , sleep are all under control of your autonomic system, that push me pull you system is either the sympathetic or parasympathic nerve pathway....rather like the accelerator or braking system.

Learn to allow your body to do its thing...the one system you do this with is your breathing system...let the rest of you work without trying to fix it...

Practice the 4/6 pattern of breathing...4 seconds in...6 seconds out...breathe from your diaphram....learn to let go.. keep telling yourself your body is fine...do not react but float past all the alarms you keep focussing on.

Get hold of just one book and read it ...understand it...its by Dr Claire Weeks “Self Help for your nerves”...google that title and put pdf after it...you should find an online cooy that youcan download....i dd go through all this 40 years ago...you can master the art if relaxation...and get your peace and tranquility back...its up to you.Best wishes.

[Dee-Dee00]

I have G.A.Dand one major particular anxiety I have is health anxiety! I’m very very in tune with sensations and know when something is wrong. I have proven my drs wrong a couple of times! That was the BEST fn feeling to be able to think. , “ neener neener” . I’m having major major abdominal issue and on my quest to figure it out! Point is, what I’m trying to say is WHO CARES!!! Make ‘em work, give them a challenge! You’re feeling what you’re feeling for some reason! You’re not making it up , just thinking it”. Advocate for yourself! If I would have settled with my doctor that said, “that looks like a normal mole.” Who knows when I would have been diagnosed with the melanoma! Good luck and be your own advocate!

[Adamj in reply to Dee-Dee00]

thank you! Yeah health anxiety is horrible but is it really health anxiety though if they did find things

[Sam1109]

This sounds like classic anxiety, which is the case with me since 2005. I use rational thinking to get out of it for a few months but it comes back. This time I did a through test on my heart. No problem. Even went to the ER from feeling like I was dying. Anxiety literally feels like heart attacks, minus the chest pain.

As soon as my dr. told me the ER said it's anxiety, I snapped out of it magically. This was just few days ago. Since then I just ignore it. Stay absorbed in things I really want to do. My white blood count is high too, has been since 2019 or earlier even. Goes up and down. My doctor isn't worried about it. Even the slightest things can cause it I think. Even gut related things.

Do you exercise? It fixes literally everything that's not working right in your body. Just walk everyday. That's enough for a start.

The one big thing that is helping me now is breathing correctly. I realized when I'm concentrating on something or working on something with my hands, like a camera, I hold my breath to the point I start feeling dizzy. Even sitting and watching tv it happens. Read the book titled Conscious Breathing. I'm reading it now and it has helped so much.

The major difference between someone with illness anxiety and someone who doesn't have it is constant worry that something is wrong and at any moment all hell will break loose. Someone without illness anxiety might get very dizzy and feel terrible for some reason and they will think it's some random weird thing and it will go away soon. And it does. Like it always goes away with me and I'm pretty sure you too.

Avoid hyperventilating. That's the thing that makes it 10 times worse during an attack. Breath into a bag if it starts to happen.

There's a great article on Psyche website on "illness anxiety", by Karen Cassiday. Go read it. It helped me a LOT in the last few weeks. Since the ER visit I have stopped a few attacks in their tracks. And if I hold onto this mindset, I hope I won't have big attacks anymore and eventually none at all.

Exercising makes bodily sensations go away eventually, like hearing and feeling your heart thumping and moving your body.

[QuiltLady in reply to Sam1109]

I'm going to check out the article. I have health anxiety and get really stressed and sometimes depressed when I have strange pains or things like a UTI. I worry about it constantly. My mind makes up "what if's" that drive me crazy. I wish I could stop them and just enjoy my life.

[Sam1109 in reply to QuiltLady]

The funny thing it is all in our head and body gets programmed to respond to the slightest bit of panic from feeling things. This is essentially our flight or fight response getting cross circuited and activating at times when we don't need it at all. You have to think about it deeply. If you have done blood tests and maybe ultrasound on your heart or wherever you think your body is "falling apart", then you have to use that to tell yourself all your panic causing worries are you getting fooled by your own thoughts. You will get to a point where it will make you laugh and you will justs flip a switch.

But since your body is so used to that chemical imbalance it will take effort and constantly reminding yourself that nothing is wrong and doesn't matter how bad you feel, you can just sit there and prove to your own brain that what you're feeling is completely fake. Instead of reacting to a racing heart and restless mind, just don't respond to it and sit there or lie down.

The most important tool in doing this successfully is breathing properly. I becomes hard to breath right when an attack happens. So all you should do is focus on breathing. Not too shallow, not too deep. Slowly breathe in through your nose, you will hold it for 2 seconds then just let your diaphragm relax to exhale, don't need to force the breathe out. You breathe in by having your abdomen swell, not your upper chest. That way you fill your whole lungs, not just the upper part. Lower part of your lungs are bigger and absorbs more oxygen. So just slow slightly deeper breathing is enough even when you're out of breath. This way you will never hyperventilate. All this is from a book I'm reading, Conscious Breathing by Anders Olsson. This book has single handedly fixed my reason for hyperventilating. I thought taking very deep breaths was the best thing to do. And now it helps to keep my heart rate low when an attacks tries to come on and I just don't even pay any attention and it goes away without even making me feel 5% of they way it used to be before.

The other thing you must understand is that anxiety is a habit. Body gets used to it, mind expects it to happen from the slightest upset in how you feel. Break the habit with good habits, sleeping at night, eating enough and not too much. Do everything that's good for the body and mind. Stay busy with hobbies or with friends. Eventually body gets used to the habit of not losing it over the smallest things.

[Adamj in reply to Sam1109]

thank you! Health anxiety is literal hell I’ve grown up with it and it’s only gotten worse. No one around me can understand why what they think is a normal sensation can make me feel like I’m dying when they can just shrug it off

[Sam1109 in reply to Adamj]

Yep no one gets it unless they have it too. What you said is the answer you need. Your body learned the habit of reacting to normal sensations in an extreme way. You have to reprogram it to understand this is normal. I've done it and it works so well. I will paste the reply I made above, so you will see it too:

The funny thing it is all in our head and body gets programmed to respond to the slightest bit of panic from feeling things. This is essentially our flight or fight response getting cross circuited and activating at times when we don't need it at all. You have to think about it deeply. If you have done blood tests and maybe ultrasound on your heart or wherever you think your body is "falling apart", then you have to use that to tell yourself all your panic causing worries are you getting fooled by your own thoughts. You will get to a point where it will make you laugh and you will justs flip a switch.

But since your body is so used to that chemical imbalance it will take effort and constantly reminding yourself that nothing is wrong and doesn't matter how bad you feel, you can just sit there and prove to your own brain that what you're feeling is completely fake. Instead of reacting to a racing heart and restless mind, just don't respond to it and sit there or lie down.

The most important tool in doing this successfully is breathing properly. I becomes hard to breath right when an attack happens. So all you should do is focus on breathing. Not too shallow, not too deep. Slowly breathe in through your nose, you will hold it for 2 seconds then just let your diaphragm relax to exhale, don't need to force the breathe out. You breathe in by having your abdomen swell, not your upper chest. That way you fill your whole lungs, not just the upper part. Lower part of your lungs are bigger and absorbs more oxygen. So just slow slightly deeper breathing is enough even when you're out of breath. This way you will never hyperventilate. All this is from a book I'm reading, Conscious Breathing by Anders Olsson. This book has single handedly fixed my reason for hyperventilating. I thought taking very deep breaths was the best thing to do. And now it helps to keep my heart rate low when an attacks tries to come on and I just don't even pay any attention and it goes away without even making me feel 5% of they way it used to be before.

The other thing you must understand is that anxiety is a habit. Body gets used to it, mind expects it to happen from the slightest upset in how you feel. Break the habit with good habits, sleeping at night, eating enough and not too much. Do everything that's good for the body and mind. Stay busy with hobbies or with friends. Eventually body gets used to the habit of not losing it over the smallest things.

[Dell12345]

Hi Adam,

I hope you are doing ok, know it will get better.

Have you tried other medications? And therapy?

X

[Adamj in reply to Dell12345]

waiting to talk to my psychiatrist again I do have klonopin but they always seem to make me feel even more foggy and like a dream state

[Sam1109]

I've read in a couple of places that health anxiety doesn't go away without real therapy. That's BS. You can give yourself thought therapy, with the help of those book and article I mentioned in my other comment. It is literally all on our heads. When you know that is the case, you can learn to snap out of it and ignore everything your body tells you. That doesn't mean you will die from ignoring things. If something that serious happens you will not be able to ignore it. Learn about Stoicism and pretend you're a gladiator or something who doesn't go down unless a dozen thugs are beating on him.

[Hidden]

you are t making stuff up. The feelings are real. But those feelings don’t mean you have a disease. Our brain is powerful. I have a friend who was very concerned about an endoscopy he was to have. The day after he had it he was sure something terrible was wrong with him. He felt so tired and his throat was very sore and felt like he had a fever and just felt terrible in general. His Dr called with the results of his endoscopy and all of his terrible feelings cleared up in about 20 minutes! He didn’t make those feelings up they were real but they were not illness.

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

I understand your frustrations with health anxiety. You definitely got it bad especially with those flash fears or response anxiety. You are lying on your sofa and your heart rate increases. People without anxiety, it doesn’t even register. But for people like you, you definitely notice. You sit up thinking what is this? Is this normal? Am I dying? You just get over flooded with thoughts and anxiety that something is wrong with your body. Fear increases your anxiety. Anxiety gets worse and you are caught in this vicious loop.

What makes it hard for you and I is that we experience this new thing. Yeah the last time we went through this bout of anxiety. It was just nerves but we eventually learned how to cope. We got on with our lives. Now we are having it again and this is a new journey for us. It’s difficult cause what helped before doesn’t help for this.

So I feel for ya buddy. I’m getting back out there. And I’m working back. I’ve noticed a big change from getting my medication fixed. I don’t feel numb tingling all over my body, I don’t get flash fear anymore. I’ve got therapy to help drive home that I’m really okay. This is just anxiety. I’m okay.

You might not be there yet. Still don’t yourself because you fear the fear anxiety brings. You don’t completely trust in yourself and your body. So if you say it’s nothing, that anxiety will suggest “the day you doubt it, it’ll be something.” That scares you because what if anxiety is right. Anxiety is a lying SOB. Anxiety is great at lying. Therapy maybe something different then CBT. Ask your therapist for alternatives. CBT isn’t for everyone. Some people benefit from hypnosis therapy, color therapy, EMDR therapy. Just ask tell your therapist about everything. I wish you the best of luck 🫂