Hiding out

[Starrlight]

Does anyone hide from venturing out into the world? From socializing? There are certain things that I have to go out to do and some people I have to keep up contact with but for the most part lately I have been pretending no one knows me. I feel safe this way. Do you relate to this?

[puppyplaytime]

As an introvert, I'd say I don't hide per se, but it does take some energy to socialize or go out, and I run out of energy after the first hour or two. I run out of things to say.

Also, I prefer small gatherings or 1-1 rather that big crowds and loud noises. I've never understood the appeal of clubs, bars, and loud parties. How can you have a decent conversation with all that noise?

[Midori in reply to puppyplaytime]

I understand that, I am similar.

Cheers, Midori

[Whorn in reply to puppyplaytime]

Boy it makes me feel a bit better just knowing I'm not the only one. Hello and thanks

[Perouze in reply to puppyplaytime]

Yes, I can relate. I just do not know what to do.

[Starrlight in reply to Perouze]

I think when we need to go out, we can remember we can always pull the car over. We can always walk out of the store. Is there anything specific you are not knowing what to do with?

[Roxylox]

I totally relate. I particularly hate grocery shopping locally. Luckily my husband does a lot of it. I too feel safer at home.

[Hidden]

Yes I can relate too!

[Hidden]

Unfortunately yes, I can sense myself getting there. I know it's because I'm utterly exhausted in more ways than one.

[Whorn in reply to Hidden]

Boy it makes me feel a bit better just knowing I'm not the only one. Hello and thanks

[Hidden in reply to Whorn]

Glad I could make you feel a bit better. Hello back!

[b1b1b1]

Particularly with covid cases again high (in the US) there are a lot of things I am not doing. Between anxiety about covid and general anxiety, it takes a lot of the zest out of life.

[Whorn]

I do and at 71 it has got so bad I hardly go out at all. My daughter and grandkids suffer. Can we talk or do you know someone that may help? Thanks for your post. Bill

[Starrlight in reply to Whorn]

We can talk of course. Personal message me.

[linco515]

Yes, I have become agoraphobic.

[Starrlight in reply to linco515]

That’s rough so sorry.

[linco515 in reply to Starrlight]

Thanks, Starrlight.

[Starrlight in reply to linco515]

If you ever feel like talking personal message me!

[linco515 in reply to Starrlight]

I will definitely write to you soon so we can talk. Thanks sooo much!

[DeerMousePhD]

Yup I relate 100%. During my worst depression and/or anxiety episodes it's easier to just be by myself and my pets. While I was still a graduate student I went to great lengths to only visit campus after business hours to avoid encountering other students and senior staff. The thought of having to smile and exchange pleasantries exhausted me.

I also try to avoid going to the same store too frequently because I'm afraid the employees will start recognizing me. Rationally I know this is highly unlikely unless you live in a small town, but who said anxiety is rational?

[Starrlight in reply to DeerMousePhD]

Thanks for sharing

[Dolphin14]

Yes, I relate. I would just rather be alone.

❤️🐬

[Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14]

❤️

[Crochet1957]

Yes!! After all the violence shooting children I think it’s perfectly sane

[Starrlight in reply to Crochet1957]

It’s terrible 😣

[RCCOLA]

My anxiety has always been far too high for me to venture into social situations like neighborhood gatherings, parties, invitations to events and even simple conversations on the street. I just avoid all of these things. I'm sure some think I'm cold but I'm actually the complete opposite. After years of this, I figured out why people usually don't start up conversations with me. They either think I'm cold or they sense my anxiety and since I'm uncomfortable it makes them uncomfortable. I'd love to meet and be with people but just can't bring myself to do so.

[Starrlight in reply to RCCOLA]

I think we will know when it’s time to go out. I myself have healing to do right now and I need the space.

[Spooky99]

Yes a100%! It was so bad at one time I was agoraphobic. Alcoholic. Today is much better but I do avoid a lot. Without clonopin I wouldn’t exist.

[Starrlight in reply to Spooky99]

That’s good today is better. I just gave up drinking and I feel like I could get back into the world when I need to just don’t want to right now.

[Spooky99 in reply to Starrlight]

Don’t be hard on yourself. You'll know be ready

[Starrlight in reply to Spooky99]

Thank you! You’re right!

[AuntDK]

I can totally relate with GAD and depression and agoraphobia it takes all I have to get out of house and the pandemic has made it worse

[Starrlight in reply to AuntDK]

I agree the pandemic didn’t help. I think we will know when we are ready to get out again. It may take some time of considering it, preparing mentally.

[superstar79]

I know how that feels! Although I retreated from the world after numerous traumatic experiences that I am trying to still process! My life is basically about getting through one day at a time and trying to control pain! Being at home is my safe place and although I do see family and a few friends a couple of times a week. Life’s passing me by at an alarming rate and I am stuck in a bubble looking out! Outside is full of reminders and faces that I can not cope with, I live in a place where basically everyone knows everyone one way or another.

It’s lonely and yet comforting to be in the house, even though I want so much more!

I can psychoanalysis myself all day long but it’s no use to me!

[Starrlight in reply to superstar79]

I hear you! I too take it day by day at times moment by moment... I do plan on doing more like getting out but right now I am satisfied spending time alone. I think w we will be able to tell when it’s time to get out there more. I once lived in a very small town and yes it’s very different and sometimes very difficult having everyone in town knowing you but you’re not quite sure how you’re viewed but people talk.

[superstar79 in reply to Starrlight]

Hi. Thank you for your message! I am living with TBI which has left me permanently disabled. Along with other conditions that limit my abilities. I am in pain 24/7 but oddly I am kinda of used to it now. My TBI was as the result of being attacked and my attacker and his family all live in my area, so I see them regularly when I do go out.

I am also still processing the suicide of my partner, we were together for almost 22 years. My soulmate and father of my child was murdered 25 years ago.

This town is full of reminders and many people that I don’t trust or like!

I have stayed here for my child/adult because the whole family is here.

I don’t have family, well blood relatives anyway.

As easy as it would be to run away from this town. I am not going to be forced to leave my home and those that I love and care about. My trauma is still going to follow me wherever I go to a certain extent!

I meant that I can psychoanalyse myself not go to therapy.

My carer before my attack was Social Work with children and young people. So I know about coping with trauma professionally and personally, even prior to my career.

It’s a rollercoaster of emotions that I alone must deal with in the best way that I can.

At this point in time I am just trying to process so much and it’s overwhelming, frustrating and annoying not being able to bounce back from it all!

Whatever life has thrown at me in the past I have been able to stay strong and beat it so to speak. My TBI I can not beat no matter how hard I try!

[Starrlight in reply to superstar79]

Omg it really sounds like you’ve been through a lot! I’m so sorry. What does TBI stand for? Keep being strong! ❤️

[superstar79 in reply to Starrlight]

TBI is Traumatic Brain Injury. I was left permanently disabled and unable to ever work again. I have gone from being a carer to being cared for. It’s frustrating and isolating! I feel as though the old me is trapped inside and screaming to get out and have my life back! I will never give up trying to beat this and I am thankful for everyday that I wake up! There are so many people in this world that are worse off than me!

[Starrlight in reply to superstar79]

I’m sorry you have to go through this. You are a very beautiful person. So strong. I love how you are grateful for each day you wake up! ❤️

[Midori in reply to superstar79]

I know that one! I was a nurse, until disability caught me. It is So Frustrating! Mine came slowly though, not in the way yours did, but I still hate not being useful!

Cheers, Midori

[samack in reply to superstar79]

Oh boy. I can relate. You don't need psychoanalysis! Just some therapy may help.

[kenster1]

I do sometime Starrlight.

[Starrlight in reply to kenster1]

Hi Kenster.

[kenster1 in reply to Starrlight]

hi Star yeah I`ll wait till it looks quiet outside before I go out and worse during the day as I get a bit paranoid people judging me for not having a job.

[Starrlight in reply to kenster1]

More and more people are working from home now and besides you do a lot. For your family and for the community. You are enough. Not everyone has to have a job. But I get it. I do understand that feeling. My friends’ moms would continually ask if I had a job every time I would see them and they just would never get that being a mom (or dad) is enough. When I did work I would eventually get stressed to the max and end up in the hospital,... not worth it.

[Chicadog]

I know what you mean about socializing. I also find it very hard, sometimes impossible to go to stores, the bank or a walk outside. I fear something horrible is going to happen to me. A crazed gunman, loud groups getting out of control, rapists, murderers, kidnappers. My mind reels with images and intense fear. Even if I'm with other people. I know that's a different kind of issue than what you're having to live with, sorry.

[Starrlight in reply to Chicadog]

I hear ya! That’s rough stuff to be dealing with. I’m scared something horrible is going to happen too but also am scared of regular people I run into just the having to interact.

[samack]

I'm re starting from Ground Zero with my life and every new step makes me so tense. About 5 years in deep depression, treatment resistant in all ways. I gave up on life and am tired of the circles I go through. When I'm out I fear not having anything to say and that others are judging me. I am now facing the fear, although I am still uncomfortable. Don't know what finally propelled me out. A med that finally is helping some counts. It was a spontaneous decision to try again.

[Starrlight in reply to samack]

That’s awesome, Samack! I’m happy for you. Yes it’s uncomfortable but doable. Paxil helped me with social anxiety so I know what you mean. What do you mean “tired of the circles I go through”?

[Matthew28]

I have always felt this. I can function, socialize, but not without awkwardness and anxiety. I much prefer to be home away from people. As you say, that is when I feel safe and happiest. Since the pandemic I just embrace it but life is getting back to normal and I am going to have to work on myself to get out. I know isolation is not healthy, but that is ironically when I am most content.

[Starrlight in reply to Matthew28]

I think as introverts we tend to gain energy from being alone to recharge whereas extroverts get energy from being with others. I think isolation can be unhealthy but it depends I mean I can see a certain amount of alone time being beneficial for sure, especially for introverted minds.

[Sueislove]

Hi Starrlight oh yes I can sooooo relate ! I get my groceries delivered and do most of my shopping on Amazon these days just don’t want to have to talk or run into anyone and fake the smile or life’s good ect …. Not socializing makes me feel safe and in control . Hugs to you my friend 🫶🏼

[Starrlight in reply to Sueislove]

((((((Hug)))))) ❤️

[car103]

I read your post and came to make a response and saw that there are already 51. I often cringe when I have to go out. I do better with strangers who don't know who I am because I don't feel like I am being judged.

[Starrlight in reply to car103]

That makes sense. Strangers can be easier. Usually we never see them again.

[Agora1]

I can relate Starrlight....it's one of the reasons I like the rain. Between the overcast and the raindrops and add an umbrella to that equation, and I feel as if I'm invisible lol xx

[Starrlight in reply to Agora1]

Yes we get invisible lol!☔

[Mrspjsmom]

Yes I do it all the time. When I go out to run errands I go to stores I am familiar with and go when I know they aren't busy. Other times I go with my husband or one of my children. The world is crazy right now and it scares me. So I stay home, socialize with the people close to me by phone and for lack of a better word hide at home. Now that the weather is nicer I am trying to venture out more but it's hard. But I won't give up hope and I keep trying. You aren't alone. Don't give up hope and keep trying. ❤

[Starrlight in reply to Mrspjsmom]

❤️ yes let’s keep trying

[Dolphin14]

Soul sister

Back in to say today is 🐬 pamper day 🤸🤸🤸🤸🤸🤸.

Gotta deal with people today but they are waiting on me. Hahaha

❤️🐬

[Overthinker8]

I've been working from home since the pandemic so yes I can relate