Unsupportive spouse, what do I do?

[nomade]

I don’t know what to do or think anymore. My depression and anxiety is the worst it has ever been and my husband do not show me any support. He refuses to acknowledge the reality of my situation and says is not interested in learning anything about mental health. I don’t know what to respond to that?? I have ask him for support, even if it’s just how are you feeling today , is there anything I can do or give me a hug or something and all I get is what do you want me to do about it? Are you blaming me for the way you are? And I tell him no , what are you making about you , I’m trying to explain how I feel, I feel judge by my own husband and I’m shocked, I thought we were married in sickness and in health . If I had cancer would he say I’m not interested in understanding about cancer? I was so angry tonight, I’m starting actually questioning if my marriage is actually making me worse? Is anyone have dealt with unsupported spouse and did you do?

[blackcat64013]

Hi Nomade,

I am sorry to here your husband isn't there for you. He has shown his true colours now, so you have to set up your own support team starting with your family doctor and any family or friends that are willing to help you.

Your husband's response is so common with mental health issues. A spouse, family and friends can never understand what goes on in our heads and therefore find it difficult to be supportive. They have never been there so I don't think we can really blame them totally. Many of us just battle alone.

Do you have a supportive doctor, psychologist or psychiatrist? Do they have a plan to help you manage your condition?

The link below has a lot of good information and has a podcast to listen to verywellmind.com/unsupporti...

Wishing you all the best from Australia 🦘

[nomade in reply to blackcat64013]

Thank you so much for your response. I think you are exactly right as I put a lot of thought into it and I definitely have to take care of myself without expecting any sort of help from my husband. The all situation with trying to get his support from him makes my mental issue worst and have big a big stresser for me. I do have started to have help around me with my doctor , therapist and I just spoke to a friend about last night who seems supportive so I’m going to take care of myself for a change. My doctor initially didn’t want me to go back to work for awhile but after last night I know that I will be better off at work ( I works evening shift) than be dealing with my husband at home .

It’s too upsetting being around him right now. I am so disappointed that I am almost considering to separate .

But right now I will take care of myself so I can be strong again and definitely will check out the link you shared. Thank you so very much.

Best to you.

[nomade in reply to blackcat64013]

Thank you so much again . I just got the chance to read from the website link you sent me and you have no idea how much it helps me .It’s incredible what talking to someone on a group chat can have such an impact. I was not a believer on online group but you changed my mind. So so helpful 🙏🏻Thank you!!