Spouse Support

[MommaA]

Hi there! My husband has been battling anxiety for the last few months but has a long history with it. I support him as much as possible but the stress and frustration can sometimes be exhausting as his only support system. I’m wondering if there are any other partners of those affected by anxiety in this forum that might want to share experiences? I feel like many times the spouse/partner/support system for those going through it often get forgotten or overlooked!

[Agora1]

Hi MommaA and Welcome! You are so right in that support system/caregivers are too often overlooked and get burned out themselves. After all we are all human and need to feel recognized as such. I'm not sure if HU offers support for spouses/partners on this site but there may be many who will be able to respond to your post who find themselves in the same position.

I'm glad you reached out to us and hope you find the answers and support you need. xx

[Hidden]

Hey MommaA. I am in a similar boat. Today I have been reaching out and researching as much as possible, it seems to be the worst day/week we’ve had in our 7 year relationship to the point he is questioning his sanity and being emotionally abusive. I am his only support. I manage him and our children as much as possible but it’s becoming so much. By the time he feels like he’s making a break I walk in or the kids come bounding through or wake up and any progress made goes directly down to 0

[Jterp13]

Hello! I just joined this hoping there would be some spouse help, too.

I don’t know anyone else going through this and so sometimes it’s so hard to explain.

Lately it seems like everything I say to the husband is wrong, and it just triggers his anxiety/depression and he feels I’m always upset with him, but I’m not. We’ve been together 13 years, married 5, and his anxiety just got bad within the last year. So this is a whole new thing we’re dealing with and it’s definitely a challenge.

[MommaA in reply to Jterp13]

That all sounds very familiar! I’m in the same boat with the anxiety becoming a sudden thing in the last 6 months and it is quite the transition commonly leaving me missing our “old life” when he has his really bad days. My husband has been very understanding of my response (most of the time). It can be so frustrating to live with it but not be able to do anything about it yourself. I hear ya!

[Jterp13 in reply to MommaA]

Exactly! And as you said, there really isn’t anything out there for people like us. I do plan to go talk to a therapist myself to help me deal with all the new emotions, and to help me learn to communicate with him again.

[MommaA in reply to Jterp13]

I haven’t even thought of that! I finally got my husband in to see a psychiatrist (after his primary said he didn’t think he needed anything) and he downplayed everything that has been going on which is really frustrating for me. Maybe I should look into seeing a therapist and put the work in on my end instead...

[Jterp13 in reply to MommaA]

Yeah - my husband was really good at jumping in and knowing he needed help and probably meds, so that was the easy part.

I know his therapist won’t take me on due to conflict of interest, but I did ask him to ask her if she knows anyone she’d recommend for me as the spouse. So I’m hoping I can find someone. And I’m hoping it’ll be covered by insurance.

[MommaA in reply to Jterp13]

That would be nice! Everyone that my husband goes to see tells him it sounds like he has a good support system and he doesn’t need meds. I’m not one to want to throw meds at him immediately but it’s tough when he has pretty consistent lows and keeps telling me how badly he thinks he needs something...only to downplay it when he talks to someone.