I've been going through this pattern for awhile (I noticed it after the pandemic started but it's happened before too) where I'm not able to talk about my feelings and they build up to the point where I just cry about every little thing... and some big things too. I notice it every time I work with a new therapist too since it's usually awhile since I've talked about my feelings. For the first few sessions I cry a ton about everything, even things that seem silly to cry over. Then after a few sessions I don't cry like that because I let it out and had someone to talk to. I know it helps to talk to someone but I don't always have someone available.
I had been working with a therapist the last several months, but he canceled on my so many times that I only saw him once in the last 6 weeks (and we were supposed to meet weekly). I finally just called and canceled all the rest my sessions today cause I was angry that I really needed someone to talk to recently and I can't count on him. But I'm at the point now again where I'm so overwhelmed I'm crying and angry at little things. I'm looking for a new therapist but it usually takes some time before I can get my first appointment so I'm wondering if anyone has any coping tips for dealing with the overwhelming emotions of not being able to let my feelings and thoughts out. I try to talk to my mom but she acts like she's sick of hearing my "problems". Plus one of the things I'm frustrated about is about her so I need to find something else. I have a friend that I sometimes talk to but it feels like she's been drifting away lately. I really don't have anyone else to talk to right now about things so I need to find some self-coping methods. Any advice?
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Indiegal
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I know it's good to let it out but I hate how crying makes me feel, even the next day I feel so down. For some reason I can't let it all out. I just cry enough at odd times to make me feel like I can't control my emotions but not enough to feel cathartic.
When we've been bottling up our thoughts and feelings for a long time I think it's understandable that we'll cry frequently when we get an opportunity to talk about how we've been feeling etc. Sorry to hear that your therapist became so unreliable. For coping methods, are there support groups in your area which have group meetings, either face-to-face meetings or online sessions? Are there any telephone helplines that you could ring occasionally when you just need to talk an off-load about how you're feeling and things that have been happening recently? The only other suggestion that I can think of would be to try writing down some of your thoughts and feelings, things that are on your mind, the sort of things that you might take to a therapy session. Once you've written some of them down, maybe take a break and come back to them later but approach them from a different angle and write some supportive replies. For example, if it was a friend who was talking to you about the things that you've written down, what would you say to her/him in order to be supportive and reassuring? You could maybe write down some of those replies as well, next to the thoughts and feelings that you were writing about originally. Also, are there any songs or pieces of music that sometimes make you cry? Sometimes we feel a bit better after having a good cry, regardless of what is was that got us crying in the first place.
Excellent suggestions. Throw those feelings into a journal. You may end up burning it when you've found someone who truly cares about you. You need at least a temporary release.
Thank you for the recommendations. I'll check out what options there are for group therapy or a hotline. I recently heard about an online therapy group that I wanted to look into. Journaling is also a good idea. Thanks!
I've been on medication and didn't like the side effects so I went off a few years ago. I honestly have liked how I feel being off them more, but I know it's always an option if things get worse.
If you need to vent you can always inbox me and vent. Don't keep it inside. I've got a couple of people that do that now. They say it helps just to get it off their chest. Just throwing it out there for you.
Hi, yes you can overcome your stress while doing coping techniques/strategies and working with a therapist for sure. As you already mentioned your therapist isn't really punctual with you then you need to find another one, who can understand your situation and connect with you to resolve your issues. And one more thing doesn't ever say bad things about yourself even in anger because it will cause a negative and very strong effect on your brain.So, yes stay positive things about yourself and motivate yourself trust me your brain will work in that direction.
I can tell you one thing: I've been in that position of frustrating therapists who either don't seem to care, or aren't capable of being there for me, and no one else who seems genuinely interested in listening to me. Your feelings are the natural result of having to repeat the cycle of overwhelming feelings having to be stuffed inside, then force released with tears, then being abandoned instead of making further progress. In other words, your response and tears are perfectly inline with your pattern of insufficient therapists or friends.Your hope lies in knowing that you are reading the situation correctly, and that you will eventually (through all the frustration) find an effective therapist who will stick with you beyond the initial purging of pent up emotions. Then you can and WILL actually make progress instead of repeating the vicious dead-end cycle that you've been in. I'm here to remind you there is light at the end of the tunnel. Once I found the right therapist who has stuck with me, it made a tremendous difference to be understood beyond the raw emotions. You are on your way, keep doing what you are doing. It will succeed. You are not going in circles forever.
That's a good way of looking at it. I never really looked at it like that but it can take a tole to go through the emotional roller coaster all over again with new people. Thanks for the positive thoughts.
Oh, even more than taking a toll on you, having to pour out your deepest, most personal feelings to a stranger, retelling the traumatic experiences and reliving the memories is re-traumatizing, especially when you are most vulnerable.
I saw one for an appt, and felt like I was connecting, and then at the end, she said she wouldn't be able to see me! I can't remember if she told me why, but I walked out feeling like I'd just been raped and then dumped. And she still billed me and my insurance! ☹
So, yeah, every retelling for me, was actually doing more damage. I felt like they each took a little piece of my soul each time, and it just made me feel more alone and isolated, and lowered my faith and trust in continuing that intense emotional drain. I refused to risk any therapist here for too long, because I was too fragile to be made worse. I did not do well, but at least I could trust myself. And then I did eventually find my current therapist, who started by saying: My job is to earn your trust, and that can take time. She's very gentle and sincere. She provides the compassionate care I needed all along. So, hang in. I know how it feels.
I recommend you look for someone else. Its not uncommon to not find a right match right away. Unfortunately it can take a few try's. Here is a contact for a free session with a licensed counselor who can provide you with some support and help you find a good local resource - 855-382-5433.
Crying can therapeutic. I have always thought that letting it out is better than keeping it all in. Blessings.
I'm so sorry you haven't been able to find the right therapist. There are many options online that can do virtual appointments. You are welcome here to vent anytime you need! We are here for you!
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