how can i get rid of this : I'm a girl... - Anxiety and Depre...

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how can i get rid of this

Saraivhdheed profile image
14 Replies

I'm a girl with no friends. And maybe it's because I want to be important to those around me, but no one considers me like that, so I can't stay next to someone. I'm just a second choice for them.A while ago, I was trying to communicate with one of them, but she wasn't there for me, even though I know she was there for someone else. And that happens repeatedly.

It's almost killing me.

I just wish I was the first in someone's eyes.

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Saraivhdheed profile image
Saraivhdheed
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14 Replies
BrmhmR profile image
BrmhmR

It can be very difficult and upsetting to feel as if you don't have any friends truly by your side. Friends are mostly never permanent and it's quite rare to have a friend throughout your life. If you do find that friend though, that is very special and there's hope in that you will have good and loyal people from time to time, enter your life or leave.

Being valued in someone's eyes can only happen if you build your own value and see your self worth. We can't force people to place us first otherwise it's not genuine. By building our values first, others will recognise that and if they have the same interests and mindset then they will place you first by their own will. Or, even if you aren't the most important person in their lives they will still try hold onto you and give you the time and effort in return for the time and effort you place into making a relationship with them.

I'd say focus on what you are interested in and take those hobbies or interests to places in which you can meet new people. That way you have already have a common foundation with the group to easily initiate communication. You will attract what you desire but you must not force or expect it will happen straightaway or that it is guaranteed. There's this rule called the " Backwards Law " and basically the principle is to stop trying hard to get something and eventually it will come to you. I'll link the video below for you.

youtu.be/O42tZse-P6w

Saraivhdheed profile image
Saraivhdheed in reply to BrmhmR

Thank you very much 🌹brmhmR

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Hi it's possible you never managed to learn the social skills necessary to make friends. This is quite common.

The good news is you can teach yourself. Do this by watching how others behave especially the popular people then learn from them. It will take a while but eventually you will improve enough to get and keep friends.

A good tip is to learn to be a good listener. When you listen you will have their full attention, but if you talk too much you won't.

Saraivhdheed profile image
Saraivhdheed in reply to hypercat54

God, you are right hypercat But I will try to take your advice. Thank you 🌺

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54 in reply to Saraivhdheed

You are very welcome. This is based on experience.

DaleandJ2017 profile image
DaleandJ2017

I know exactly how you feel! I'm in the same situation. My best girl friend makes time for other friends but not me and I finally had to put foot down and say enough! And she is my only friend! I have lots of old friends but we have lost touch and they are too busy with their own lives. I just really need some girlfriends that I can rely on depend on to talk to

Saraivhdheed profile image
Saraivhdheed in reply to DaleandJ2017

I hope you find good friends. You can probably benefit from the tips in the comments.. Good luck

mathematics profile image
mathematics

You will build up your self worth and meeting people who have similar interests is a way forward. I have a little dog and have made a lot of friends by dog walking and in the past made friends by going to craft groups where you had a common interest in making something. But you must value yourself and move forward. Lots of love.

Saraivhdheed profile image
Saraivhdheed in reply to mathematics

They seem like good ways to make friends. Thanks

Tealpillow profile image
Tealpillow

Same. It hurts my heart when my daughter asks who I’m best friends with and the answer is no one. Folks have responded to your post with some excellent advice that we have to build up our self esteem. I know this is true but it’s so hard! We have to be our own best friend first.

Can you identify one or two positive traits that you have? I’m compassionate and silly 🙃

Saraivhdheed profile image
Saraivhdheed in reply to Tealpillow

It really hard.. I love altruism and... I'm not sure maybe kind.. 🤷🏾‍♂️

Tealpillow profile image
Tealpillow in reply to Saraivhdheed

Well done! I can tell you are also loving and thoughtful by your desire to make and keep friendships. Wanting to connect with people is beautiful 💜 I’m glad you found our community.

Perhaps today you can find one positive activity to do, even if it is small. Smell your favorite candle, light some incense, take a bath, something to treat yourself. You deserve it :)

Saraivhdheed profile image
Saraivhdheed in reply to Tealpillow

And I'm also happy to be in this society.

catmousefish profile image
catmousefish

It's hard, to have a friend you need to be a friend. Start to reach out to someone else and you will see you will have friends.

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