Hello everyone! This is my first post here... glad I found this support network. I have been dealing/living with PTSD for about four years now (three years diagnosed) as a result of a domestic violence relationship that culminated with an attempt being made upon my life. For two years I have been attending talk-therapy, and have been taking medication (Duloxetine and now Zoloft) to help, but I fear that my depression and trauma is hindering my ability to be happy; actually, I know it is.
I am just not sure what to do at the moment, or where to place my sadness and grief. I am married to a wonderful person who supports and idolizes me; I am blessed. But I am struggling with symptoms that are new to me, if that is possible. Currently, I am dealing with the breakdown of my family (not my marriage family, my biological family) and realizing that it is hard for me to trust, and I am not sure I know how to be happy, or to accept myself. Indeed, for me, "it is just easier to believe the negatives."
I currently feel like I am unlovable, not worthy of love or respect, and that I have nothing to contribute to society- beyond my husband, pets, and neighbors. How have you overcome this? Any recommendations on how to heal?
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SurvivingEveryday
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Hi Surviving, feeling like you're worthless is one of the hallmarks of PTSD. I haven't overcome it, but I'm starting EMDR trauma therapy at the moment. I don't know if it will help, but I do know that people with PTSD need trauma therapy, specifically. They need therapists who are knowledgeable about trauma - not any old therapist will do.
I have tried to go it alone for many years, but I can't tell you what a relief it was to go to my first therapy session and talk to someone who could explain to me why I feel the way I do, and that these feelings aren't absolute.
Thanks for the info, and support. The PTSD is such an "alone" disease, I feel like (I prefer to call it a disease). I have done two EMDR sessions, but I agree, I think trauma-informed therapy is much better than traditional.
Yet, it’s incredibly lonely. Being around other people often ends up making you feel lonelier instead of less lonely. I hope you find a way to get your life back.
It helps to get out of your normal routine. Go to different stores. Meet new people. Volunteer at a food bank or shelter or group home. Your new activity may ignite a spark in you. Goog luck on your journey, you are not alone.
Hello and welcome. You might try finding a therapist that specializes in treating trauma and c-ptsd because it sounds like you need to do more than just talk therapy. Mine used emdr to help me get in touch with my emotions and to safely process them. I found it very valuable and helpful. I also found Somatic Therapy very helpful for processing the painful emotions. Medication can help some but getting in touch with and processing the emotions is still necessary to heal and move on with your life.
It sounds like you have been through a lot. Be gentle with yourself. The daily struggle takes a lot of work.
I’ve been diagnosed with a Major Depression and Anxiety Disorder and mild PTSD. Nothing like your trauma but affected nonetheless. I see a psychiatrist and a talk therapist. And am on meds for mood stabilizing.
I’m also a member of a 12 Step Program which helps immensely. The support I get there is immeasurable.
I’m fortunate enough to be an alcoholic. So Alcoholics Anonymous is the one I use. I did go to Al-Anon for awhile There’s also co dependents anonymous. Over Eaters Anonymous. There used to be an Emotions Anonymous but I don’t know if they’re still meeting.
I have some PTSD, as my counselor has said he thinks that is what I am dealing with, but has not formally diagnosed it as he is not a psychologist, just a licensed counselor - unclear if they are allowed to diagnose or just do talk therapy at his level.
Anyway, mine is from an abusive marriage and then a horrible aftermath of a 2nd marriage that has lasted over 17 years and still ongoing. I deal with my PTSD buttons being pushed regularly. I have trouble trusting people. I know I am worthy of love, but as of last couple years, my health has completely bottomed out on me with numerous health issues and so having been single the last 17 years because of all the aftermath of the horrible 2nd marriage situation, I feel like I may never know the love of a good husband, and since I have never had a good marriage or good husband for that matter, I so desperately long for love on that level, but this aftermath just keeps them all away.
I am a believer of Christ, and I pray and trust that his plan for all of this is so much better than I could have ever imagined and he has a plan for such horrible circumstances and that someday, they will change and I will look back and find myself on a different path.
My joy and happiness come from Jesus and I praise him for all of my blessings each day and enjoy what I can of my life despite my circumstances. What I have found is that you can have everything in life and still be unhappy. Happiness is a frame of mind, not anything anyone can give you. You have to choose to be happy just like you choose to love people.
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