Staying the course during a grieving period

[Strongest123]

Hello everyone on here. Hope everyone’s had a good day. I’ve been struggling like I haven’t struggled in a few years. I’ve been on here, on and off for a while due to my severe depression and OCD. My older brother passed recently and the pain of losing him has been unbearable. I’ve been thinking about things I could’ve done to help him and what I could’ve or should’ve done. I’m 56 years old and I’m retired due to my condition. I retired a couple of years ago, but my brothers passing recently is all I think about. I am blessed to say that I have a loving, and adorable little girl just 10 years old. She’s been like a rock to me. Anyways I’m an avid weightlifter, which is something I’ve enjoyed most of my life, but lately I’m off my schedule. I’ve been trying to motivate myself to no avail. I’ve been seeing my therapist once a week like always but I’m really really struggling. SAMSON

[Marysblue]

Sorry for your loss.

[Agora1]

Hi Strongest123, when we lose someone we love, it takes time to grasp our loss.Don't torture yourself with what you couldn't or shouldn't done, it just makes the

pain more profound. I'm sure your brother loved you for who you were and hopefully

understood the emotional pain you had been going through.

Give yourself time to grieve. Everyone grieves differently and in their own time.

The void feeling of loss never really goes away but the pain will lessen but not be

forgotten.

Working out for you may need to be put on hold for a little time. Your body strength

is accompanied by mental strength which is struggling right now.

Continue talking with your therapist regarding your grief and how to go forward.

Right now it's all about taking slow steps forward. Sending my sincere sympathy xx

[Hidden]

Hi. My sincere condolences. Loss takes so much out of us. I lost my mom in August and have really been struggling since. I really like Agora1's reply. The only thing I can add is to be gentle and patient with yourself. Grief takes as long as it takes. Allow yourself to feel all your emotions. Doing so is healthy, and is necessary for moving forward. Someone once told me that grief is like a rock we carry around in our pocket. While that rock is always there, it's size can vary. Somedays it is a boulder weighing us down (symbolizing almost unbearable pain), while other days it's much smaller (symbolizing a pain that is more on the back burner). While it is good to try and motivate yourself, don't force it. If you force yourself to do something you aren't ready for, it might cause shame and guilt and a host of other negative emotions on your part (I learned this the hard way). I am also very glad that you are seeing your therapist.

Do what you can and be kind to yourself.

[fauxartist]

I'm so very sorry for your loss, and the grief of a loss is just a horrible thing to have to go through. There are grief and loss groups that were helpful for me. It just helped me not feel so alone and lost, and to know others could understand. But time is the only thing that helped in the long run. You never forget them, they are always with you, but we just have to process all the stages of grief first to get there. One of them is regret, all the could haves and should haves, don't change what is today. We cannot control life and death of another's... we are only human. But this is a very normal phase of this process. We get sad, angry, resentful, remorseful... and so on. Just try not to internalize it onto yourself...