I want my own place

I want my own place. I've saved money for years. My parents are just strangers to each other; they don't like being around each other. My father is selfish and won't pay for anything. He will eat the food but not buy or cook food. He expects his laundry washed but won't buy detergent nor use the washer. I absolutely hate being at home cause of him. My mother is bitter and says my anxiety is just in my head. They don't understand anything about me nor do they even try. How do I get out and be free without them always making things worse?

[ciaranjack]

I wouldn’t recommend moving somewhere by yourself but maybe try living with friends for a while and see how it goes. Moving away from home is scary but moving away from a stressful environment if only for a little while might turn out well

[Hidden in reply to ciaranjack]

I dont have anyone else. Don't have any friends. Live out in the country.

[Blueruth in reply to Hidden]

This is 2022. Many women live alone. I don’t know all your circumstances but you would not be the first woman to save money and move.

[Against_the_current]

I'm trying to move out too. My dad left and since then my mom is Bitter, drinking and triggering the hell out of us. In accomodation with other people but it's hard. You've got this. Good luck

[Hidden]

It's hard because growing up I was always told you don't get out on your own its dangerous. You don't rent a house it's dangerous....everything is dangerous. My entire life I was told that. I was controlled with fear.

[Blueruth in reply to Hidden]

Not that dramatic but I was told it is too dangerous too. It isn’t. Life is short. I think it 40% of women live on their own, rent, own, whatever. Don’t listen to people who say it’s dangerous. Listen to advice on how to protect yourself. Learn how to navigate living on your own. That is not the same as being afraid. That is about empowerment.

[Midori in reply to Hidden]

Could be their fears talking. It's not so bad, but often better st share if you can.

[kas_102611]

I hope your situations change 🙏alot of the times thats just it our parents are struggling also or not trying to learn to be a better person ..domt doubt yourself start small and do what you love and talk to someone .. im here

[Hidden in reply to kas_102611]

Thank you. The support helps very much. Hope you are having a good day.

[bethelbee]

If you have enough saved, start looking for a place for yourself. It would be healthy for you to be out on your own and being away from the stressful environment you are presently in. It is not dangerous to be out on your own. It is healthy for your independence. Keep us posted and good luck!

[Blueruth in reply to bethelbee]

Agree! Solo anything is good for your soul. You learn to be an independent, confident person.

[hypercat54]

I wonder if your parents consciously or subconsciously have trained you to stay home with them to either act as a buffer, or to take care of them in their old age?

The role of good parents is to teach your kids the lessons they need to be independent and to make a success of their lives. Your parents have done the exact opposite so it makes me doubt their motives.

I have lived on my own most of my life and am fine. Just remember a few common sense rules and you will be too. Move out and start living your own life is my advice.

[Midori]

Seems to me that they are both in their own misery bubbles and have no time for anything else. How about seeing if any friends have a spare room you could occupy for awhile?