Am I being unreasonable?

[BrownEyesBlue]

I have really good friends. I’m blessed. My friends wanted to sign me up to a weekly board game night but I really don’t want to go. There are other people involved that I don’t necessarily like and make me uncomfortable. They keep pressuring me even after I’ve said no.

I’m really anxious and for some reason feel bad.

One of my friends said I was being unreasonable and I don’t think I am. I appreciate them wanting to get me out and doing something but this particular event is something I do not want to commit too. They pay money each week and my finances are tight at the moment ; they drink (which I don’t; maybe a sociable) and with a lot of them you end up being the topic of conversation when you get up from the table.

I guess I’m just looking for support that I did the right thing because I really did not want to join lol but I feel bad. I really need to work on that; feeling bad and anxious when I think I’ve disappointed someone.

All advice appreciated 💜

[Blueruth]

No reason to feel guilty but maybe it would help to be firm but kind with your friends. Thank them for the invite but it just isn't your jive and you would love to get together for some other type of event. Maybe even suggest an activity. You don't even need to go into too much detail on why it isn't for you. If they don't listen at first keep repeating the same thing... "thank you for inviting me...". When you stick to a message like that it is easier to avoid the guilt. Keep the focus on the event not you.

[Daesin in reply to Blueruth]

Well said.

[Daesin]

So counter offer another activity. If you don’t want to play Parcheesi with Simon and Penelope them don’t be forced. Suggest another activity.

Try this:

“No, I’m just not really feeling Monopoly tonight but there’s a really great exhibit at such and such museum on Tuesday would you like to go?” Or concert, play whatever.

That way you are advocating for yourself. You don’t get have to express completely why you don’t wanna play scattegories with Penelope and endure her stuck up ways. Or watch Simon get drunk and fall over his own feet. Yet you are showing that you are still interested in engaging with your friend. You are simply redirecting to an activity that you are more comfortable with.

Best of luck