How do I deal with being alone?

[Busterchareles]

Hi I was in a crisis facility three weeks ago. I had to stay there for six days. I made a plan to kill myself and ask my mother for help. I’m so glad she was there to help me. Now that I’m home I don’t know how to deal with being alone with my depression and I feel so anxious just to do day-to-day tasks. I have my first appointment with My new counselor on Friday but it was just so hard to get through Monday.

[NoHoWarrior]

Welcome, Bustercharles.

Coming here is a great start. Good on you!!!

I deal with a lot of loneliness and I'm new here also, but I find that reading posts here helps me a lot. I think it helps me most when I'm replying to someone's post with something that I think might help them or just be uplifting in general.

I'm in my 50s and I have not made healthy choices when it comes to friends and my partners have been worse by far.

However, I recently did two things that has really helped me. I reconnected with people from my past and I schedule people into my life.

I schedule a hike with a friend..... biweekly phone calls with my favorite cousin..... a walk in the neighborhood after work.... breakfast with a friend.

If I'm left to my own vices without the scheduling, then I'll find any old excuse not to do it, but when I schedule, I follow through.

I highly recommend you find ways to make human connections with as many people on as regular a basis as you can.

Connections. It's all about the connections. As many and as varied as you can.

[Hidden in reply to NoHoWarrior]

I absolutely agree with you. It’s all about connections! I struggle to make connections with people but now that you have said that, I’ll redouble my efforts because I know it’s true!

[Strongest123]

Hello. I think trying to find something you like doing is a start. Finding a hobby. Sometimes I don’t feel like doing anything, but just staying in bed, but I get out and force myself. It happened this morning. I wake up depressed and feeling overwhelmed but I started lifting. I’m an avid weightlifter, have been all my life. Once I started I felt much better. One day at a time, this too shall pass. Stay strong. SAMSON

[Hidden]

This Monday is a very rough one for me too.

[Busterchareles in reply to Hidden]

Are you getting through all right though?

[Hidden in reply to Busterchareles]

No, I'm not. My parents can't stand me .

[Hidden in reply to Busterchareles]

How are you doing this evening?

[Busterchareles in reply to Hidden]

I’ve been crying a lot.

[Hidden in reply to Busterchareles]

Oh, I'm really sorry. I feel like crying myself I don't mean to go on and on just about me, but life can be really rough sometimes. Don't give up hope.

[Hidden in reply to Busterchareles]

I really hope you feel better. You can send me a personal message on here if you want to.

[Pikki in reply to Hidden]

I understand feeling like your parents can't stand you. And I'm not here to say your feelings are wrong, maybe you are right. But if they can't stand you then THEY are the problem. Not you. It took me almost 40 years to realize that my parents were the problem, not me. Don't make my mistake please!! Thinking I wasn't good enough cost me a beautiful life. They were the ones that were not good enough for me.

[Hidden]

Hello friend...I have also been to a crisis center when I felt it was the right time. Reach out if you’d like to share your experience. Do you like dogs? I find that my dogs are one of the only thing that keeps me connected to what’s important in my struggle when I’m losing it. They feel my sad energy and try to stay close to me it seems. Perhaps volunteering at a local shelter and spending time with the homeless dogs would give you a sense of worth and purpose when it seems impossible to find it from within. Have a blessed day

[Pikki in reply to Hidden]

Good advice. Dogs provide much comfort and can get you out of bed bc you have to take them out!

[lovemydoggy]

I'm glad you posted. Knowing others are going through or have gone through what you're dealing with right now is helpful in itself. In that way you're not alone. I know it's hard to feel like it will ever get better, but it will. Sometimes it can be so difficult that every minute, or even every second feels impossible to get through, but you're doing it. It's not easy. It's great that you've got some counseling set up. If you're on meds and they aren't working it changing meds is an option. For now try to distract yourself somehow I think. TV can be great for that, although I know it can be so bad nothing helps. If you like video games those are a good choice. If you have a pet snuggle up to him or her. I know my dog helps me more than I can say. I wasn't suicidal but did have a period of depression that rendered me nonfunctional. I had a dog at the time and she got me through. She was there every brutal step along the way. IDK where you live but getting outside and walking, weather permitting is helpful too. Again, I don't want to minimize what you are dealing with. Sometimes every piece of advice you get can be frustrating. I remember people telling me everything from change your diet, to excercise to just cheer up. What did I have to be depressed about? They all came from a good place, but I understand it sometimes is frustrating. Just know this won't last forever and congratulations on moving closer to that one step at a time.

[EndUser13]

For what it's worth I think this site is a healthy, useful approach. There are a lot of positive, helpful people here- such as NoHoWarrior mentioning the great advice of creating whatever connections you can.

I've been in a psych ward a couple of times, terribly boring, awful places where people just ignore you and treat you like a broken shard of glass (fragile and dangerous), I hope you are well past this dark time you mentioned.

I spend far too much time online in various ways, although it's handy and places like this can help with the loneliness. I have a number of hobbies to keep myself busy too and try to just take things as they come. This might seem chaotic to some but my ideal is not to overwhelm myself.

Making lists to help keep your mind focused on what is most important might help you prioritize things, or offer some self-reflection that you can share with your counselor. I hope that ends up being a really great connection, we all need someone to listen to.

Finding this place is a great sign! I would encourage you to make the most of the mostly kind, helpful community here. Best of luck to you, be sure to come back and share!

[mentalcase]

I've tried suicide many times and been in mental hospitals many times also. It never worked. I finally realized that we will go when it's our time and only the good Lord decides that. I know that God is always with me and that helps with my loneliness. I just had a nervous breakdown 2 weeks ago and was depressed before that and every day since. I didn't go to the hospital or seek help because they would only commit me and I'm not going there again. It is very hard to be alone. I live by myself with no friends and no one to come see me. My ex husband is the only one that comes over but he can't help with my depression because he doesn't know what to say or comfort me. It would be nice to have someone to go places with to get me out of the house.

Do you have friends? We're told to go out for a walk but how can you do that with no motivation or energy because of the depression. Are you on medicine? If so, maybe the dosage may need to be raised or changed. I play games on my phone day and night and that takes my mind off of being so lonely.

I've just started CBD tincture and that seems to be helping my depression. I've talked to a few people and they said it has worked for them. I've tried many different medications through the years and they work for awhile then quit. I finally got desperate because I'm tired of being depressed all the time. I did research on the internet on CBD and other things that would help depression. I'm not going to have shock therapy so my only option right now is the CBD.

Do something you enjoy to keep your mind occupied. I know that's hard to do with depression. It's good that you live with your mother because at least you have someone. I hope you get to feeling better and find something that helps you.

[Fairygranny]

Have you tried creative hobbies? I art journal and journal in the same book! Many people to follow on YouTube! It’s like a whole community! It sure helps me!!!!

[Tara52]

I empathize with your situation. I have been alone for over 3 years after my boyfriends suicide. I was suffering depression/anxiety before he died. I had no one to help me or so I thought. I had no relationship with God. (I never found Him at church). I found out He was always at my side doing good. All I know that He is pure Love and wants to help & comfort you. I'm not preaching any religion b/c it includes everyone. My life has improved so much. I am off all meds finally quit smoking, no longer suffer panic attacks. There are days I get discouraged but I change my thoughts faster. This life I found is a school room to teach us lessons. Taking one's life is not a escape hatch out of the pain. You just "wake up" on the other side in the same emotional pain you were in & still have to deal with it. So I pray you hang in until Friday, take meds until you dont need them anymore, have hope things will & can change.🙂Cry out to God and you will start seeing some Light in your situation. I will pray 4 you. Sending you a HUG!🤗💗

[Organiker]

Always remember these words: "This too shall pass". And it will. Please also see YouTube videos of Douglas Bloch. He's been there and can help. youtube.com/watch?v=7AmojmN...(Not working as expected?)

[Bluespoonblu]

Keep busy tho u dont feel lik it & get some exercise in to burn off adrenaline. Also sleep is important.

[Hidden]

Hi. It is difficult to come out of a safe space and be on your own. I’ve experienced that. This is one good place to come when you need to connect. Of course online is never as great as the real thing but it will do in a pinch. I’m glad you are here and I’m also glad your mom was there to help you. Hang in there even if just one minute at a time. Everything can be made better with work.

[Pikki]

I'm not sure. I deal with extreme loneliness and anger, so much anger at my abusers that it leads me to turn away from people. I am not exactly alone, I have my two children, but I find myself pushing them away, pushing everyone away bc I'm so hurt and raw that even the slightest new hurt from other people rips me open. But I still stay alive and I keep reaching out by doing things like joining this site. I don't have advice, just know you are not alone in this world, there are people like me that feel what you do.

[DIsneyQueen]

Dear Busterchareles, I am so sorry you are in such pain. I am glad you came to this site. Please a know I see you and hear your pain. I am glad you reached out for help, Take one minute at a time and try to remind yourself that you are here for a purpose. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. May God Bless you and keep you safe 🙏🙏🙏😇😇😇

[SirGrits]

Hey Buster, hang in there man. Many have already said something along these lines, but schedule little activities (preferably w/ people) and set little landmarks for yourself and just focus on stringing the little victories together and build some momentum. Before you even realize it Friday will be here.Prayers bro.

[moxoni237]

Sorry to hear anxiety and the feeling of indequate need not be a infusion of incarnal perspective not good enough or of self worth and need having a life with limited belief or finding clarity and removing fear or doubt change can be a stepping stone of awakening and removing any triggers or pain in spiritual being you are worthy of the love and compassion of self acceptance in the world and the gratitude of more than enough not of procrastination or suffering reflection finding and aligning with values and self recognition first step in situations and gaining inner strength that reflects who you are as a person not a shell their is lightness of burdens and focus in reality being likened to higher self consciousness and changing what does not serve perspective reactivating the meanifulness and taking small steps of affirmation glad to hear you are taking steps to removing a discerning outlook and out reach be that person who can rise above and leaving any traumatic past behind hope you find meditation worries removed and that you find relaxing relativity that serves you’re wellness and any depressive swings or negative activity action always speaks louder than words you are with people who can expanse and share knowledge of a greater accomplishment 👍😀🌈☀️🖱️🙏